McNuggets for 3 please!

Since I'm still so new to the Bachelor / Bachelorette, I forgot to set the DVR to record this season of the Bachelorette.  KJ and I watched it live the first week and just totally forgot about it so I had to catch-up on demand last night.  Oh boy.  What a show. 

The episode starts with the guys getting the 411 on the group date.  One of the guys (IDK his name) calls out the following:  Grant, Luke S, Mike, Jed, Jonathan, John Paul Jones, Dylan, and Luke P.  I can't remember exactly what the card says but all I know is Miss J (yes! catwalk queen Miss J from America's Next Top Model and star of some of my very favorite gifs!!!!) is there and he brought some friends with him!  I love love love Miss J and wish he'd be on the show every week! 

Drag icons Alaska Thunderf— (use your imagination) and Alyssa Edwards, will be helping the "contestants" prep for the swimsuit and talent portion of the competition.  They whole gang is here to judge the Mr. Right Pageant, which — if the Speedos are any indication — will be an exercise in equal-opportunity objectification. “The drag queens, being fearless and embodying who they are as a person is just resonating with me,” says Mike, as he practices walking in size-15 (!) heels. “I need to let Hannah know that I’m Mr. Right.” He's one of my favorites!  He's got a fabulous smile and great manners!!! 

 

The pageant begins with, of course, the runway walk (AKA sausage parade.  AKA an excuse to get the guys nearly naked). Why didn’t anyone tell Jonathan to take off his dress socks before strutting down the catwalk?  The judges seem a bit perplexed by John Paul Jones but I kinda like him.  He's adorable and I don't think we've seen that side of him yet.  Everyone seems to approve of Jed, who paired his Speedo with a pair of cowboy boots. But no one gets a higher score on the beefcake scale than Luke “God spoke to me in the shower." 

 

 

“Luke has the body of a Greek god,” drawls John Paul Jones with reluctant appreciation. “The guy looks amazing.”  Ya' think???

The “talent” portion is a silly.  There's a unicycle, someone playing the trumpet poorly, some juggling.  Maybe some tap dancing.  And Jed sings a romantic little diddy on the guitar. 

Hannah Bananas is like a kid in a candy shop.  Eye candy shop.  The icing on the cake is when Luke P decides to shoot his shot two episodes into the season with a totally creepy and premature declaration of love.  “Hannah, I can’t believe I’m saying this right now. This is pretty crazy because it’s so soon,” says Luke P, as the audience begins to whoop expectantly. “Hannah, I’m genuinely… beginning… to fall…in love with you.” Apparently, his talent is… bullshit.  In a move that shocks no one, Hannah crowns Luke P as the winner of her Mr. Right Pageant.

Though Jed is disappointed, he’s keeping his eye on the prize. “There is a rose up for grabs,” he reminds us. “And that means more to me than a sash.” Mike the Man throws a little shade Luke P’s way when he offers the first “cheers” of the night at the cocktail party: “I want to give a cheers to people just being real,” he says. “Make sure that this is for the real reason — that this is love forever, not just 15 minutes.”

Luke P handles this constructive criticism about as well as you might expect: He annoys the guys further by stealing Hannah away from the group first. Once they’re alone, the Bachelorette quizzes him about how he could possibly be feeling anything close to love when they haven’t even known each other for 48 hours. Finally!  Someone with half a brain!!!  This was the point in the season where I started to like Hannah.  A little.  We got a glimpse of sanity and it was nice.  “I am… starting… to fall in love with you,” Luke replies. But then she blew it with the following:  “I asked for bold, and you’re bold!” she giggles. “He’s saying everything my heart needs him to say,” she tells us.   

The other guys are definitely not ready to let Luke P off the hook. “You’ve had less than two hours with her,” says Mike. “In the history of man, I’ve never heard someone say ‘I think I’m starting to fall in love with you’ that fast.” Luke, the “good Christian boy” lets the dudes know that when he wants something, he gets it.  "No matter what it takes.” In other words, he’ll do/say anything to “win” Hannah. Mike shrugs in disgust, a gesture that likely speaks for all of Bachelor Nation.  At the end of the night, it’s Jed, not Luke, who takes home the date rose.

The next day, Hannah is wearing some kind of all-white jean outfit and picks up Tyler G in a helicopter.  Because, this is the Bachelorette.  The first one-on-one of the season goes pretty well (better than Hannah's one-on-one w/ Colton).  The Bachelorette thinks this Tyler is a “stud” with his dark hair and blue eyes. “He feels like a Tim Tebow — but hotter.” They go mudding.  Because, she's from Alabama. 

After four-wheeling, the dirty duo cuddle on the couch and talk about, you know, the importance of “being real.”  “You’ve gotta just reach out to the people you care about,” says Tyler, “and be genuine.” Hannah then outlines some vague goals for the future: having a family, being a “strong woman,” building a career that will “help people,” and doing “incredible things” with her “future husband.” Tyler G. claims to be pro-helping people and just keeps repeating how lucky he is to be with Hannah. It should not come as a surprise to anyone reading this that Tyler G. gets a date rose.

And then group date number 2 is upon us! With the exception of a couple of guys, this is basically the reject group.  The Bachelorette greets Devin, Matteo, Daron, Connor J, Kevin, Dustin, Tyler C, Joey, Peter, and Garrett outside a shady looking warehouse in a sketchy part of LA where they are greeted by Los Angeles’s own Derby Dolls. “Get ready to get hit!” announces one of the Dolls.  The majority of hits are coming from the floor, which is repeatedly slamming itself against everyone’s asses.  This looked horribly painful and not fun at all.  Team Bachelorette treats us to a montage of wipeouts set to Strauss’ “Blue Danube,” which added a comedic touch.

The post-Derby cocktail party takes place at what looks like a Pier One warehouse or a fancy storage unit.  The cocktail party is chugging along when suddenly an SUV pulls up to the curb and out pops the season’s biggest reject (so far), Cam. The last we saw Mr. “ABC,” he was moping around the house playing the harmonica and wishing he’d been chosen for a date this week. Clearly, some helpful producer talked him into crashing the group date that he wasn’t “invited” to (air quotes are Cam’s, who does not know how air quotes work).

“This is a very Cam thing to do,” Cam informs us. Hannah does not look particularly happy to see Cam, but she lets him interrupt her one-on-one chat with Devin. All he wants is to make sure Hannah knows that he misses her and that he’s trying not to “over-Hannah-lyze” the situation when she’s out on dates with other guys.

The rest of the men are not pleased to hear that Vanilla Ice has entered the building. “That’s a stalker boyfriend vibe right there,” notes Daron.  Tyler C is so annoyed he follows Cam out into the parking lot … when he probably could have been using that time to talk to Hannah. “The guys are a little beside themselves,” Tyler C mumbles passive-aggressively.  "We’re all fighting for time” (soooo.....why aren't you inside chatting it up with Hannah???).  Cam politely makes it clear that he does not give a rip about anything but spending time with Hannah, so Tyler slinks back to the World Market warehouse. 

Suddenly, it’s like that scene in Airplane! when everyone lines up to slap the hysterical passenger.  First, here comes Garrett — another guy who could be talking to Hannah instead of yelling at some other bro about how he hasn’t talked to Hannah. “I don’t really appreciate that, dude,” says Garrett. “You’re not sorry, dude… You stepped on our toes and you stepped on her toes a little bit, too.” And now here’s Kevin, who chirps at Cam for crossing the invisible “boundaries” that help maintain a civilized order in the Bachelorette universe. “Cam’s a piece of s—,” he tells the other guys. Chill out, everyone! Cam didn’t get the date rose — he’s not even eligible this week. Instead, it goes to Dustin. 

And now we're at the cocktail party already? And is Hannah crying before it even begins.  I think she's a bit tipsy at this point.  I'm serious.  She sounds a little slurr-y.  Like a drunk sorority girl at last call. 

“I wanna be real with you,” she tells the guys through her tears. As she talks, her sniffles become more prominent, so Mike asks someone to get her a tissue. (Devin hands her an old-fashioned handkerchief instead which is AWESOME!!!  A real man always has a hankie with him!!!!  Kudos to Mike the Man for recognizing Hannah's needs and Kudos to Devin for being a Boy Scout!).  “I’m so sorry,” Hannah continues. “I’m just overwhelmed with emotions about how lucky I am. [sniff] And it’s also scary. And it’s hard to make decisions [sniff] when I don’t know all you that well [sniff] as I want to.”

After she pulls it together, the one-on-one chats begin. Connor J, who didn’t get a date this week, moves in first. “I thought about you a lot this week,” Hannah tells him, and they smooch. Is it just me or does he have a little speech impediment?  Kevin suggests that he and Hannah purge their inner anguish by unleashing a primal scream upon the heavens above the mansion.

“That was awesome!” says Hannah giddily. And this is when things get weird.  Right in  the middle of her convo with Kevin, in walks Cam.  "I’ve actually got something planned for all three of us,” he announces.  Wait.  What???

I have nothing against chicken nuggets, but this was so cringeworthy.  The three of them, sitting in the middle of candles and rose petals shaped into a heart and some honey mustard sauce.  For some reason, Kevin agrees to bring the tray of nuggets inside while Cam and Hannah enjoy their driveway picnic — but he’s pretty salty about it. “What he was doing was control freakish and weird,” he huffs. Once his rival is back inside, Kevin lets him know exactly what he thinks about his fast food-themed tomfoolery and flips the nuggets in Cam's face. 

And then things get even weirder.  What in the holy hell is going on in the next room? It looks like Luke P has asked production to set up some kind of makeshift massage table in the little green sitting room. “You’ll learn, I’m really good with my hands,” he tells Hannah. (at that point I threw up in my mouth a little).  The "massage" turns into a full-fledged make-out session and at some point the zipper of Hannah's dress is down. 

“He’s so hot,” purrs Hannah. “It’s like, can we just skip the main course and go to the dessert?” Poor Jed walks into this hormonal hot mess just as Hannah’s about to rub oil on a shirtless Luke P.  I totally saw this happening.  If you remember my recap of the first episode, I said we'd be seeing more of Luke P shirtless. 

“It’s not what it looks like, I promise,” chuckles Luke. Jed mutters something about how the awkward encounter is “not super appealing” and shuffles off, embarrassed. The Bachelorette is completely mortified. “F—, f—, f—, f—, f—, f—, f— me,” as she drops a series of F-bombs.  “I don’t know what to do.”

Hannah eventually works up the courage to talk to Jed, and he handles himself like a gentleman.  He graciously brushes the whole thing off and puts her at ease.  “There’s a lot of dudes in here that are after you,” he says. “Isn’t that weird?” Honestly.  I think he's too good for Hannah Bananas. 

And then we get right to the rose ceremony. Joining Jed, Tyler G and Dustin in the Circle of Safety this week are Tyler C, Garrett, Devin, Connor S, Luke P, Dylan, Luke S, Mike, Peter, Kevin, Jonathan, Joey, Matteo, John Paul Jones, Grant, and Cam (What.  The.  Hell????).  A couple of guys who's names I don't know are voted off the island. 

The evening ends with two final douche moves. First, Cam makes a toast to “Hannah Ayala.” (“That’s my last name,” he explains to the confused Bachelorette.) And once the guys disperse, Luke P sneaks off and crashes the Bachelorette’s confessional or whatever you want to call it. 

“I’m coming to talk to you,” he announces.  Just listen to listen to this load of crap he lays on Hannah while she's sitting on his lap:  “I felt like everything in time stopped when I was looking in your eyes for the first time.” Girl.  If someone has to say things like, “everything I’m telling you is 100% real” and “you can trust me,” run.  Run far and run fast.  IDK if she's buying what Luke’s selling but she's definitely into "dessert." 

 

What I'm Watching Wednesday

So now that the Stars season is over and I have nothing to look forward to until October, I've turned my attention back to TV shows.  Some good shows ending (I'm looking at you Game of Thrones), some good shows just starting (Spanish Princess for example) and a train wreck I can't help but slow down at take a look at (yeah, I'm referring to the hot mess that is Hannah B on The Bachelorette). 

Game of Thrones (HBO)
When this show first aired I really wanted to watch but remember thinking that I was already invested in several other shows and just didn't have the time.  Fast forward a couple of years and I'm recuperating from my hysterectomy.  Perfect time to start binge watching!  So, while I'm not an "original" GoT fan, I am a fan nonetheless. 

As we all know, this is the very last season of GoT and Sunday's episode is the very last.  This season has been had some highs and some lows for me:   

1. The Battle of Winterfell (episode 3 "The Long Night") -- the Battle of Winterfell was very dark and hard to see.  I couldn't tell what was happening half the time and it was frustrating. 
2. I hated that Theon had to die.  Understand why, I just hated it.  I love how he came full circle and redeemed himself.  It was very tragic and heroic. 
3. Jaime Lannister was consistently one of my favorite characters throughout the entire series.  I love that he "bedded" Brienne of Tarth and bedded her well.  I liked their relationship.  Felt bad for Tormund though. 
4. I really wanted Jaime to be the one to take Cersei out.  He could have easily snapped her neck or stuck a dagger in her while the Red Tower was falling down around them. 
5. Arya was a bad ass in episode 3, basically useless in episode 5 "The Bells."  She just ran around while Kings Landing is going to hell in a handbasket, she had no purpose and then just rode off on a white horse at the end.  I get it.  The devastation of Knight's Landing had to be told from someone's point of view and she can now get back to Winterfell and tell everyone what Dany did. 
6. I knew it was going to come down to the Hound vs. the Mountain.  Sad to see the Hound go. 

Unfortunately, Twitter was a buzz about spoilers and I did read a couple of them.  I've said all along I think Jon is going to have to kill Dany's crazy ass and Sansa is going to end up on the throne. 


The Spanish Princess (Starz)
I've been a HUGE fan of Phillipa Gregory's since forever https://www.philippagregory.com and The Spanish Princess is based on two of her novels.  I loved both The White Queen and The White Princess but I'm two episodes into The Spanish Princess and it's been a slow warm-up for me.  A couple of inaccuracies have bothered me (particularly the ages of Arthur, Catherine and Henry).  In reality, Arthur and Catherine were 15 when they married and she was a widow by the time she was 16.  She married Henry at 23, he was 18.  In the Starz series, they are portrayed differently.  Also didn't like the wedding night between Arthur and Catherine.  They definitely would have had someone, other than one of her ladies, to check the sheets in the morning to make sure the marriage had been consummated.  She was brought to England to do one thing and one thing only and that was to procreate and form a solid union between Spain and England.  Arthur would have known this was his duty and they definitely would have been expected to do the horizontal hula on their wedding night. 

What I'm looking forward to: 
Fear The Walking Dead (AMC)
Fear the Walking Dead returns on June 2.  I've been watching since day one and I love when Walking Dead and Fear the Walking Dead storylines collide.  I liked Morgan on TWD and like him even more on FTWD.  And now it seems we've got another TWD character cross-over to look forward to this season! 

Big Little Lies 2 (HBO)
Big Little Lies premieres June 9 on HBO with the addition of the one and only Meryl Streep as  Celeste's (Nicole Kidman) mother.  The drama continues with original cast members Reese Witherspoon (Madeline MacKenzie), Nicole Kidman (Celeste Wright), Shailene Woodley (Jane Chapman), Laura Dern (Renata Klein), Zoë Kravitz (Bonnie Carlson).  Adam Scott plays Madeline's husband Ed Mackenzie.  I am not an Adam Scott fan at all but thought he was wonderful in the first season! 

Ballers (HBO)
Season 5's premiere date has not been released but like previous seasons, I'm guessing it will air sometime this summer.  I love this show.  First off, Hello.  The Rock????  Second, the show evolves.  It started off as a show about Spencer Strasmore (played by the always lovable Dwayne Johnson), a former Miami Dolphins star turned financial manager.  But then Spencer decided to expand and diversify (the new Vegas expansion team and extreme sports for example).   

Last season had Spencer, who helps athletes cash in on their dreams with his right-hand man Joe (scene-stealing Rob Corddry), facing a showdown with the NCAA. John David Washington (yes!  Denzel's boy!) will be returning to his role as Ricky Jerret, a top-rated NFL athlete who has a lot of baby mama drama.  We can also expect to see more from Charles (Omar Miller), Vernon (Donovan W. Carter), and Reggie (London Brown). Probably no more Russell Brand though—his Lance was left in the dust.


And now on to the hot mess express: 
The Bachelorette (ABC)
Colton's season was the first time  I had ever watched any of the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise and that was only because my oldest daughter knew one of the contestants from Alabama.  My original impression of Hannah B from Tuscaloosa was that she was very very pretty and very sweet.  That impression eventually changed and I really think she's kinda psycho.  And last night was a total shit show.  I don't find her to be authentic and I am going to struggle through the season.  She comes across as one of those girls that's always "on" and requires a lot of attention.  A lot.  Truckloads.  https://www.theringer.com/tv/2019/5/13/18618368/the-bachelorette-season-15-premiere-recap-hannah

There were a couple of interesting contestant's on the Monday night's show:

1. I liked the box guy from Chicago.  I thought he was funny and liked that he had a great big Italian family.  I would have kept him around for giggles.  I love a funny guy. 
2. Mike from Dallas (maybe San Antonio?  IDK) had a KILLER smile and seemed genuine.
3. The golf pro from Birmingham is very good looking.  Hope he's a nice guy.
4. The guy who showed up with a hot dog and condiments.  No.  Just no.
5. Matt Donald.  Unfortunately Matt showed up singing a rendition of Ol' MacDonald that didn't go over too well.  
6. Scott felt like a plant.  The whole thing was forced and contrived and a colossal waste of time.  99.9% of the people on this franchise have a past.  That's why they're on the show.  They've had crappy luck finding a life partner and are hoping to find love on TV (dumb, but whatever).  I was in the minority last night thinking that Scott (if that even is his real name), was kinda right when Hannah Bannanahs confronted him about an alleged girlfriend.  He said it was no different than Hannah Bannanahs claiming to be in love with Colton just a few short months ago.  Well played Scott.  Spoiler:  he was sent packing in a very dramatic fashion.  And that's exactly why I think he was a plant.  The producers know Hannah was not a great choice as the Bachelorette and needed a way for women to get behind her.  And nothing garners the support of other chicks like kicking out a lying cheating bastard.  Girl power and all that. 
7. The dueling pilots.
8. The dancing general contractor. 
9. Demi's back.  She should have been the Bachelorette in my opinion. 
10. Math teacher.  Where was this guy when I was failing Algebra???
11. Luke P.  I mean, God SPOKE to him while he was in the shower.  In.  The.  Shower.  I think we're going to be seeing a LOT more of Luke in the upcoming season.  Like, a LOT more.  He looks like he's never passed up an opportunity to take his shirt off. 
12. Fence jumping guy. 
13. Campus looked nice.  And Bryant-Denny Stadium stole the show.  #RollTide

Blondes having more fun???

Being a Bachelor novice, I had no idea there was a thing referred to as the "Blond-Out."  It usually occurs halfway through each season of The Bachelor, when the fun goes away and things get serious. At the beginning, there are almost 30 women and the Bachelor must pretend interest in all of them while going on goofy dates and trying to stir up drama. By the end, there are only a handful of women left standing and the Bachelor struggles to give each meaningful time as he decides on who he wants to wife-up.   

It's called the "Blond-Out" because at the beginning the Bachelor acts like he’s looking for love with women of all races, creeds and hair color.   By the end, all pretensions have faded away; the Bachelor has looked deep within his soul and has realized that he just wants to pick the girls he’s most attracted to.  Which is OK and I'm not sure why everyone's dogging Colton on this.  He's attracted to Blondes.  So what?  That's usually how relationships start.  With attraction.  You're attracted to someone for some reason.  It may be their height, it might be you find their sense of humor attractive.  You might find something attractive about their physique.  You might find their mind attractive.  It's that first spark.  And if Colton's not attracted to Sydney (who was a bit of a downer) or Nicole because she lacks self-confidence or Oneka (spelling?) because she caused some drama, is it really his fault?  Would it be OK if he was only attracted to red-haired, one-eyed, left-handed girls under 5 ft tall? 

There appears to be some confusion as to whether this season is to be considered a "Total Blond-Out" given the fact that Tayshia has blond highlights and is full-on blond in her Instagram avi.  But, for all intents and purposes, let's just rule her a non-blond (let's just agree to consider women with brunette hair who have gone ombre as blond. For example, Kirpa has natural black hair but has dyed it primarily blond). 

Only one blond woman was eliminated this week, and it was the one all of Twitterverse was divided on.  Demi.  Cute, little Demi from Texas.  Demi with the convict mom.  Aggressive Demi.  Yes folks, Demi is gone.  Felled by either her own hubris or Colton’s inability to see greatness. I'm thinking it was the former.  That girl was bound and determined to take Colton's V-card. 

Demi didn’t get into any hijinks this week or make any snarky comments about the ages of the other contestants (because let's face it.  All the old ladies were gone already.  It was past their bed time).  She let Colton talk to her newly-released-from-prison-mom on the phone (which was weird but sweet.  She clearly loves her mom).  Demi then later told Colton she was “falling in love” with him. While some folks are blasting Colton for his reaction to this, I think it was smart to let her know they were not on the same page.  So he immediately sent her home (which kinda stinks because it's a long flight home from Vietnam and she left in the middle of the night during a thunder storm).   

Many have said that Colton’s getting the formula of this Bachelor thing wrong. He’s supposed to eliminate women as he gets closer to finding the person he wants to propose to. What formula?  Maybe some of these viewers have watched one too many seasons and have become jaded?  Maybe I'm looking at this with fresh eyes? 

In back-to-back weeks, Colton is the one who has gotten dumped rather than doing the dumping.  Last week, Elyse left Colton because she felt she wasn’t getting enough one-on-one time after a strong start.  Sydney left because, among other things, she felt Colton was making “easy choices” instead of picking women who were actually interested in getting married to him.  My only issue with Sydney is that rather than take the high road and wish everyone well, she decided to label the remaining contestants as "shiny objects."  I thought that was a bit much coming from a Knicks dancer.  To me, it came across as Sydney was a bit jealous that she didn't have that spark (or sparkle) to capture Colton's eye.  Which is ironic considering she's a dancer for the NBA.  Doesn't she have to have some spark on the court???

According to Wikipedia’s Bachelor season summaries, 11 women voluntarily left the show over the course of the last 10 seasons. Usually one woman leaves per season but Colton's already lost two. But going even deeper, the timing is worrisome. Like Colton, Ben Higgins lost two women on his season, but they both left by Week 3. Six of the 11 self-inflicted departures came in the first three weeks.

I get it.  A woman auditions for the show for whatever reason, gets cast, gives it a shot, and then realizes they hate cameras, would rather be with their family/friends/dog, and goes home. Or, if they are like me, they would have tapped out the minute they heard they were going to Singapore and Vietnam.  The humidity would have killed me.  No lie.  My hair would have been a hot mess, my make-up would have slid right off my face and the boob sweat would not have been pretty.  If the producers handed me a ticket to Singapore, I would have instanteously replied, "Yeah.  No thanks.  That's not gonna happen.  Good luck Colton!" 

Colton has lost women in Weeks 5 and 6—well over a month into his relationships with them, over halfway through the season. Only one Bachelor has lost a contestant after Week 6, as Colton did—Juan Pablo, who was ditched by Sharleen and Andi within the final four episodes. From what I've heard, Juan Pablo is considered The Worst Bachelor. With capital letters just like that. 

These girls are not only dumping Colton, they are messing with his head.  When Sydney walked off, she told Colton that he might be in trouble because some of the remaining women were “not ready” for marriage. Colton explained to the camera that he thought she meant Demi, so then he went and dumped Demi. But then Demi told Colton the same thing as she was leaving.  And then after eliminating Katie in the rose ceremony (who came out of NO WHERE this week!  I swear to God, I had never seen that girl before last night!!!), she said the same thing. Colton is now officially flabbergasted and sputtering “Am I fucking missing something?” to the camera as he tries to figure out who the unready one is.

I'm guessing Hannah B is one of the ones "not ready" for marriage.  I also think Heather (who has now been kissed) is the next to go home.  She doesn't bring anything to this relationship.  Hannah B started out by forgetting how to use her big girl words by turning a simple toast into a minute-long self-destruction which ended with a #RollTide. Since then, she has learned that she’s quite capable of communicating nonverbally. She has beaten up several opponents (all during sanctioned fights, don’t worry) and now it’s become clear that her favorite form of communication is unhinging her jaw and emitting a whispery shriek, like a wild animal. She refers to it as the Hannah Beast.

In other, exciting news, Colton and my girl Hannah G went on a spa date where they were wrapped up in large leaves which caused Colton to make the awkward joke "I'd eat that sushi."  Hannah's doing great.  She's made herself noticed, in a good way, and is staying out of the drama.  I've said it before but I'm really proud of the way she's handling herself.  She's not desperate or showy and is just letting this thing evolve.  Good for her! 

The mystery of how Kirpa suddenly showed up last week with an unexplained bandage on chin has been explained.  Nothing nefarious, it turns out she fell while trying to take a selfie.  This is the second time this season that an episode has left an obvious mystery unsolved—the first being whether or not Bri ever told Colton about her fake Australian accent.  I thought she was so cute and would have gone a lot farther than she did!  I guess Bri didn't realize there was a "formula" to this show.  But what do I know? 

The Future is Female

Feminism is a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve political, economic, personal, and social equality of sexes.  This includes seeking to establish educational and professional opportunities for women that are equal to those for men.

 

Feminist movements have campaigned and continue to campaign for women's rights, including the right to vote, to hold public office, to work, to earn fair wages or equal pay, to own property, to receive education, to enter contracts, to have equal rights within marriage, and to have maternity leave. Feminists have also worked to ensure access to legal abortions and social integration, and to protect women and girls from rape, sexual harassment, and domestic violence. Changes in dress and acceptable physical activity have often been part of feminist movements.

I think feminism means different things to different people.  To me personally, feminism means equality and freedom.  Equal pay, equal rights, equal opportunities, freedom from sexual harassment, freedom from persecution of sexual preferences.  I think feminism is about being what ever you want to be and being supported.  If you want to be a brain surgeon or a rocket scientist, great!  Go for it!  If are most happiest being a stay at home mom or volunteering at your child's school, wonderful!  Raise those little humans to be great grown-ups!  I think feminism is not questioning someone else's decisions.  I've always said I've been on both side of the working mom/stay-at-home-mom fence (as well as the great "to breast feed or not to breast feed" debate) and one is not easier than the other.  You've got to do what's best for you and for your family.  Women don't need to bash other women and I hope I've instilled that in my girls.  You don't need to put someone else down to raise yourself up. 

So here we are, almost a full month into 2019 and we've had some incredible "firsts" so far this year.  It got me to thinking about where we're headed in sports, in business, life in general.  And how far we still have to go. 

 

 In case you missed it this month: 

Sarah Thomas  is an American football official from the United States, and is currently an official for the National Football League (NFL). Thomas was the first woman to officiate a major college football game, the first to officiate a bowl game, and the first to officiate in a Big Ten stadium. On April 8, 2015, Thomas was hired as the first full-time female official in NFL history,and for the 2018 NFL season, she is on the officiating crew headed by referee Ronald Torbert. She was originally assigned officiating uniform number 153 (as seen in many photos), but currently Thomas is a down judge with the NFL officiating uniform number 53, worn in past seasons by umpire Garth DeFelice, line judge Bill Reynolds, and field judge Frank Kirkland.  

Thomas was born in 1973 in Pascagoula, Mississippi.  She attended Pascagoula High School, where she lettered five times in softball. She attended the University of Mobile on a basketball scholarship and was an academic all-American.

Thomas began her officiating career in 1996, when she attended a meeting of the Gulf Coast Football Officials Association. She worked her first varsity high school game in 1999.

In 2006, Gerry Austin, Conference USA's coordinator of officials and a former NFL official, invited her to an officials' camp. Austin was impressed with her skills and hired her for the Conference USA staff.  In 2007, Thomas became the first woman to officiate a major college football game, working a game between Memphis and Jacksonville State.  Before that game, Austin said, "She came highly recommended by two NFL scouts. She has a good presence and demeanor. I feel like she has the ability and courage to make a call, and the guts to not make one, too."

During the 2009 season, Thomas was one of five female officials in major college football and the only one at the Football Bowl Subdivision level.  She was assigned to a crew and given a full schedule of 11 games. At the end of the season, she was selected to work the Little Caesars Pizza Bowl between Marshall and Ohio, making her the first woman to officiate a bowl game. Regarding her presence, Marshall running back and game MVP Martin Ward said "I noticed her before the game, but that was it. Once the game started, she was just doing the job that the line judge does in every game we play. It didn't matter that she was a woman at all."

On November 12, 2011, Thomas became the first woman to officiate in a Big Ten stadium, working as a line judge when Northwestern hosted Rice.

Thomas has officiated United Football League games, and in 2010 worked the league championship game.

In 2013, Thomas became one of 21 finalists in contention for a permanent NFL officiating position. 

Thomas worked New Orleans Saints scrimmages and was part of the NFL officiating development program, spending three days at the Indianapolis Colts minicamp.

On April 8, 2015, the NFL officially announced that Thomas would become the first permanent female official in NFL history. Thomas made her NFL regular season debut in a game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Houston Texans at NRG Stadium on September 13, 2015, as part of Pete Morelli's crew as the line judge.

In 2017, Thomas moved to the down judge position. The change in the position name from head linesman coincided with the move in order to use a gender-neutral term. 

Thomas is the first woman to earn an on-field assignment for a playoff game. She was named to the crew for the game between the New England Patriots and Los Angeles Chargers on January 13, 2019.  She was an alternate for the 2018 Atlanta Falcons and Los Angeles Rams Wild Card game.


NHL 2019 All-Star Competition
The Skills Competition took place the day before the All-Star Game on Friday January 25, 2019 at the SAP Center. The winners of each event were awarded $25,000 in prize money.  The league invited Renata Fast and Rebecca Johnston from the Canadian Women's National Team, and Brianna Decker and Kendall Coyne Schofield from the U.S. Women's National Team, to demonstrate some of the events. After Nathan MacKinnon of the Colorado Avalanche (Central Division) pulled out of the fastest-skater event due to a bruised left foot, Coyne Schofield was named as his replacement, becoming the first woman to compete in the All-Stars skills competition.

Brianna Decker demonstrated the premier passer skill, but she was not part of the competition. She was, in fact, three seconds faster than Leon Draisaitl and would have won had her time been included as they did with Kendall Coyne Schofield.  This prompted the hashtag #PayDecker on Twitter, as women's hockey salaries are a fraction of men's hockey salaries.  On January 26, hockey equipment company CCM announced they would give Decker the $25,000 she would have received for winning the competition.

 
Super Bowl LIII
History will be made Sunday night at Super Bowl 53 in Atlanta, but it will happen on the sidelines, not on the field.

That's where you'll spot Quinton Peron and Napoleon Jinnies when the New England Patriots take on the Los Angeles Rams. 

 

Peron and Jinnies will be the first male cheerleaders at the Super Bowl in NFL history, cheering for the Rams alongside their female counterparts. The men already made history at the start of this season when they -- along with dancer Jesse Hernandez of the New Orleans Saints' cheerleading squad -- became the first male cheerleaders in league history.

 

In a tweet last week after his Rams secured a spot in the big game, Peron sent out a shout out to his squadmate:  "Napoleon, you think Atlanta is ready for us?" Peron tweeted. "NAHHHHHH. We're going to the Super Bowl!"

 

The men, both dancers, made the Rams cheerleading squad back in March. Jinnies called making the team a "humbling and amazing" experience. Peron said there wasn't a good reason for him not to try out for the squad.

 

"I was at (an L.A.) Lakers game (right before making the team) and I was watching the Laker Girls," Peron told "Good Morning America" last summer, "and I was asking myself, 'Why can't I be down there?' I've choreographed for girls who dance on pro teams, I've danced with girls on various pro teams. I just thought, 'why not me?'"

 

Other teams, like the Indianapolis Colts and the Baltimore Ravens, have had stuntmen before, USA Today reported, but Peron and Jinnies danced alongside their female teammates and did the same moves during the season.

 

Peron and Jinnies' success inspired 25-year-old Jesse Hernandez to try out for the New Orleans Saints' Saintsations cheerleading team.

 

He told CNN affiliate KATC that his mom sent him a link with their story.  "She told me it was my time to shine," he said in a video posted before his final audition.

 

And then we have this bullshit.  Which, sadly, is not the first time this has happened nor will it be the last. 

The Bachelor
Caelyn, who is competing for Colton Underwood’s heart on season 23 of The Bachelor, was sexually assaulted during her sophomore year at Virginia Commonwealth University.

The 23-year-old Miss North Carolina USA opened up to Underwood, 27, about the incident during last night's episode. 

“It’s definitely the most difficult thing in the world,” a teary Miller-Keyes says to the former NFL player in a teaser for Monday’s episode. “It’s affected every single person in my life.”

After she was raped in college four years ago, “my life was flipped upside down,” Miller Keyes tells PEOPLE. “And even though I’ve moved on, it is something I will struggle with forever.”

                       

The Miss USA runner-up, 23, was a college sophomore in Virginia when a group of male acquaintances at a party allegedly drugged her wine glass, as well as the drinks of two of her friends. The next thing Miller-Keyes knew, “I woke up the next morning and I was completely naked in my bed and I knew that something bad had happened,” she says.

A girlfriend at the get-together, who had not been drugged, alleged that one of the men had had sex with her while she was lying unconscious in the bed. In addition, before the alleged assault, Miller-Keyes says that a friend alleged that  “another guy, I was passed out on a couch from the drugs, and … in front of his fraternity brothers … lifted up my dress, they watched and laughed and took photos and Snapchats. It was horrible,” she told Underwood on The Bachelor.

“These situations happen when you’re safe,” she tells PEOPLE. “They don’t necessarily happen when you’re walking down a dark alley. It’s when you’re comfortable and when you let your guard down.”

Bachelor Recap

I looked back at my first post regarding this season's Bachelor and I was kind of surprised at my comments about Hannah B from Alabama.  After this week's show?  Wow.  I mean.  Just, wow.  She has no chill and has zero F's to give.  The girl seems a bit unhinged.  She's got some triggers for sure.  I'm not trying to be funny, I'm dead serious.  She has a deep, deep need to be perfect and it just about killed her when her roommate placed higher than her at Miss USA.  This goes much deeper than a pageant.  This sounds like a girl who's been pushed to perfection her whole life. 

This is a pic of Hannah B, Caelyn and Miss Louisiana USA from their pageant days.  I think they need to bring Miss Louisiana on the show and see if she can shed some light on the situation.  Maybe Hannah B is wacky, maybe Caelyn is fake and lying.  Who knows? 

 

Colton was getting all involved in the drama and I didn't think that was very cool (although he was totes cute as a pirate!).  He clearly likes Caelyn and believes her side of the story.  How these girls feel about each other really has no bearing on how he feels about them individually. 

 

And then they did that whole Bridal Wars competition which was kinda funny, kinda sad.  But it was very nice to see Terry Crews and his wife Rebecca (I had no idea they have been married almost 30 years!).  Unfortunately, Rebecca's hair reminded me of a vanilla swirl ice cream cone. 

 

Meanwhile, Hannah G is over here just looking cute as usual!!  I really like the way she's coming across on the show.  I'm so glad she's not humiliated herself, she hasn't talked bad about other contests, she's not acting crazy or desperate. 

 

 



 

 



 

 



Bachelor Recap Week #2

Holy cow.  These girls are cuckoo for Colton-puffs.  And I get it.  He's adorbs.  He reminds me of Chris Pratt.  He just seems like a really nice, genuine guy.  But I am so so tired of hearing about his virginity.  And I'm sure he is, too. 

KJ and I watched the show live and tried to get T to watch with us from Denver but she couldn't get the ABC app to work properly.  Here's my thoughts on the second episode:

• It was a long episode.  I'm new at all this so I thought it was just going to be a 1-hour show. 
• I didn't realize the Bachelor could give out roses willy-nilly throughout the episode.  I thought he only gave them out at the end of each show during the rose ceremony. 
• The date with the one girl from Alabama, (Miss Alabama USA), Hannah B was very awkward despite it being her birthday.  You could tell she was nervous and uncomfortable.  I don't blame her.  I would be too.  I'm nervous and awkward on a regular basis and don't have cameras following me around.  And I understand her need to be perfect all the time.  I have a daughter like that.  The night time date got a little better when she started to open up and talk about her own sexual experience(s).  Which I found interesting.  I was wondering how the sweet Southern girls were going to handle the topic of their own sexuality if and when it came up.  I think Hannah B's experience is pretty common . . . she thought she was in love so they took the next step.  Oh!  And #RollTide  Yup.  Like I said, awkward. 
• I find it so incredibly rude and disrespectful when the girls interrupt each other during one-on-one time with the Bachelor.  During competition or group dates, that's fine.  But not cool to interrupt someone else's time.  Which brings me to:
• The two girls trying to out-do each other with noisemakers.  What are you?  Ten?  An air horn?  A pot and pan?  I think the one girl was the same one who showed up with a snorkel in last week's episode and said she was "drowning in a sea of bitches."  She had a whistle with her then so the airhorn was an apparent upgrade.  Oh!  And she made some cheesy comment about "being horny." 
• Tracy is going to blow a gasket.  For real.  She's got a vein in her forehead that is going to burst.  She had a mini-melt down last night and it was only episode 2.  It's just a matter of time before she goes full-blown nuts.  She is totally triggered by: 
• Demi.  Girl.  The robe?  The fantasy "closet?"  Touching the "group rose?"  Jumping off the stage during the group date and kissing Colton???  This is one very aggressive chick from Texas.  And, on top of her assertive behavior, she's making fun of the "older" ladies in the house.  Tracy confronted Demi and Demi apologized in an extremely condescending manner, but Demi was still confident she would receive the stem. Not.  So.  Fast.  Colton gave the rose to Elyse (she’s 31; he’s 26). Demi subsequently dubbed Elyse a cougar.  Elyse, btw, is a confident, very attractive red-head. 

• The Pageant Drama is going to get pretty intense if the sneak peeks are anything to go by.  Caeylnn, Miss North Carolina USA, gossiped a bit with the other girls about Hannah B.  These two girls not only competed in the Miss USA competition together, but they were even roommates!  According to Caelynn, Hannah was extremely upset (read "jealous") when Caelynn placed higher than her and Hannah B flipped her sh*t in a hot minute.  Caelynn also predicted Hannah B's behavior will rear its ugly head again soon.  Hannah B also mentioned Caelynn to Hannah G.  But good for Hannah G!  She seems to be playing it cool and staying true to herself.  From what we could see, she did not stoop to their level and did not gossip.  She listened to what Hannah B was saying, but didn't add any fuel to the fire. 

• In the end, Annie, who grew up in Wisconsin but attended . . . wait for it . . . wait for it . . . Yup!  You guessed it!  Alabama!  #RollTide went home last night.  And some other girls.  IDK.  This early in the season I don't even know if they have names or if they are just called Girl like in Birdbox (i.e., Girl #1, Girl #2, Girl #3).