First time for everything

There really is a first time for everything and I found that out firsthand on Friday.  At almost 47 years old, and having worked fairly steadily since I was 15, I was released from my duties at the hotel.  It kind of came as a shock, kind of not.  While Catering Sales were through the roof and basically carrying the hotel, Group Sales were sorely lacking and rumors were rampant.  We had been told that an older section of the hotel, "the Lodge," was closing effective June 1 but "the Towers" would remain open.  There was a lot of speculation on how this would affect the associates and management.  As it turns out, I, along with two others, were casualties of war.  Everyone kind of assumed that one of the Sales Managers was on the chopping block, possibly two.  So, it was a great surprise to most that I was one of the ones let go.  But, in reality, it kind of made sense.  My position was created in January after not having a Catering Coordinator for several years and as the old saying goes, "last one hired, first one fired."  I enjoyed my job very much, I liked the people I worked with and I liked the work I did.  That's that.

On the bright side, everything does happen for a reason and I think the reason was that I'm supposed to be home this summer.  Even though she's about to be a high schooler, we were still very nervous about KJ being home all summer with the pool.  We wanted her to enjoy the pool but we wanted her to be safe, too.  And, I certainly didn't want a bunch of kids at the house if I wasn't home.  We have some friends visiting in June, we have plans for July and now I don't have to feel guilty about asking for time off.

It's still a very weird feeling to be called into HR and be told the company is restructuring and there is no longer a spot for you on the team.  I flip-flop between acceptance and anger.  On Friday morning I walked into the hotel and for the first time thought that it could be me.  For weeks I had received the assurances of my supervisor that I "was fine"  but something hit me that morning and I told a co-worker I think my position is going to be eliminated only because it was newly created.  Obviously I knew the gig was up when I walked into HR and saw my boss crying her eyes out.  Apparently, she had been hit with the news just moments before I was called into HR.  In between packing up my desk, I spent most of the time reassuring her that I was going to be fine.  I think I was a little shell-shocked.  But on Sunday afternoon, I got mad.  I'm mad because in essence, this really has nothing to do with me.  It has to do more with the inadequacy of others and the inability to put "heads in beds."  I feel like I was a pawn in a twisted game of politics.  The Catering department was given the OK to finally get the Coordinator they so desperately needed only to have it snatched away at the first sign of trouble.  My position was viewed as a luxury, not a necessity.  The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing that it wasn't anything I did.