What I'm Watching Wednesday

So now that the Stars season is over and I have nothing to look forward to until October, I've turned my attention back to TV shows.  Some good shows ending (I'm looking at you Game of Thrones), some good shows just starting (Spanish Princess for example) and a train wreck I can't help but slow down at take a look at (yeah, I'm referring to the hot mess that is Hannah B on The Bachelorette). 

Game of Thrones (HBO)
When this show first aired I really wanted to watch but remember thinking that I was already invested in several other shows and just didn't have the time.  Fast forward a couple of years and I'm recuperating from my hysterectomy.  Perfect time to start binge watching!  So, while I'm not an "original" GoT fan, I am a fan nonetheless. 

As we all know, this is the very last season of GoT and Sunday's episode is the very last.  This season has been had some highs and some lows for me:   

1. The Battle of Winterfell (episode 3 "The Long Night") -- the Battle of Winterfell was very dark and hard to see.  I couldn't tell what was happening half the time and it was frustrating. 
2. I hated that Theon had to die.  Understand why, I just hated it.  I love how he came full circle and redeemed himself.  It was very tragic and heroic. 
3. Jaime Lannister was consistently one of my favorite characters throughout the entire series.  I love that he "bedded" Brienne of Tarth and bedded her well.  I liked their relationship.  Felt bad for Tormund though. 
4. I really wanted Jaime to be the one to take Cersei out.  He could have easily snapped her neck or stuck a dagger in her while the Red Tower was falling down around them. 
5. Arya was a bad ass in episode 3, basically useless in episode 5 "The Bells."  She just ran around while Kings Landing is going to hell in a handbasket, she had no purpose and then just rode off on a white horse at the end.  I get it.  The devastation of Knight's Landing had to be told from someone's point of view and she can now get back to Winterfell and tell everyone what Dany did. 
6. I knew it was going to come down to the Hound vs. the Mountain.  Sad to see the Hound go. 

Unfortunately, Twitter was a buzz about spoilers and I did read a couple of them.  I've said all along I think Jon is going to have to kill Dany's crazy ass and Sansa is going to end up on the throne. 


The Spanish Princess (Starz)
I've been a HUGE fan of Phillipa Gregory's since forever https://www.philippagregory.com and The Spanish Princess is based on two of her novels.  I loved both The White Queen and The White Princess but I'm two episodes into The Spanish Princess and it's been a slow warm-up for me.  A couple of inaccuracies have bothered me (particularly the ages of Arthur, Catherine and Henry).  In reality, Arthur and Catherine were 15 when they married and she was a widow by the time she was 16.  She married Henry at 23, he was 18.  In the Starz series, they are portrayed differently.  Also didn't like the wedding night between Arthur and Catherine.  They definitely would have had someone, other than one of her ladies, to check the sheets in the morning to make sure the marriage had been consummated.  She was brought to England to do one thing and one thing only and that was to procreate and form a solid union between Spain and England.  Arthur would have known this was his duty and they definitely would have been expected to do the horizontal hula on their wedding night. 

What I'm looking forward to: 
Fear The Walking Dead (AMC)
Fear the Walking Dead returns on June 2.  I've been watching since day one and I love when Walking Dead and Fear the Walking Dead storylines collide.  I liked Morgan on TWD and like him even more on FTWD.  And now it seems we've got another TWD character cross-over to look forward to this season! 

Big Little Lies 2 (HBO)
Big Little Lies premieres June 9 on HBO with the addition of the one and only Meryl Streep as  Celeste's (Nicole Kidman) mother.  The drama continues with original cast members Reese Witherspoon (Madeline MacKenzie), Nicole Kidman (Celeste Wright), Shailene Woodley (Jane Chapman), Laura Dern (Renata Klein), Zoë Kravitz (Bonnie Carlson).  Adam Scott plays Madeline's husband Ed Mackenzie.  I am not an Adam Scott fan at all but thought he was wonderful in the first season! 

Ballers (HBO)
Season 5's premiere date has not been released but like previous seasons, I'm guessing it will air sometime this summer.  I love this show.  First off, Hello.  The Rock????  Second, the show evolves.  It started off as a show about Spencer Strasmore (played by the always lovable Dwayne Johnson), a former Miami Dolphins star turned financial manager.  But then Spencer decided to expand and diversify (the new Vegas expansion team and extreme sports for example).   

Last season had Spencer, who helps athletes cash in on their dreams with his right-hand man Joe (scene-stealing Rob Corddry), facing a showdown with the NCAA. John David Washington (yes!  Denzel's boy!) will be returning to his role as Ricky Jerret, a top-rated NFL athlete who has a lot of baby mama drama.  We can also expect to see more from Charles (Omar Miller), Vernon (Donovan W. Carter), and Reggie (London Brown). Probably no more Russell Brand though—his Lance was left in the dust.


And now on to the hot mess express: 
The Bachelorette (ABC)
Colton's season was the first time  I had ever watched any of the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise and that was only because my oldest daughter knew one of the contestants from Alabama.  My original impression of Hannah B from Tuscaloosa was that she was very very pretty and very sweet.  That impression eventually changed and I really think she's kinda psycho.  And last night was a total shit show.  I don't find her to be authentic and I am going to struggle through the season.  She comes across as one of those girls that's always "on" and requires a lot of attention.  A lot.  Truckloads.  https://www.theringer.com/tv/2019/5/13/18618368/the-bachelorette-season-15-premiere-recap-hannah

There were a couple of interesting contestant's on the Monday night's show:

1. I liked the box guy from Chicago.  I thought he was funny and liked that he had a great big Italian family.  I would have kept him around for giggles.  I love a funny guy. 
2. Mike from Dallas (maybe San Antonio?  IDK) had a KILLER smile and seemed genuine.
3. The golf pro from Birmingham is very good looking.  Hope he's a nice guy.
4. The guy who showed up with a hot dog and condiments.  No.  Just no.
5. Matt Donald.  Unfortunately Matt showed up singing a rendition of Ol' MacDonald that didn't go over too well.  
6. Scott felt like a plant.  The whole thing was forced and contrived and a colossal waste of time.  99.9% of the people on this franchise have a past.  That's why they're on the show.  They've had crappy luck finding a life partner and are hoping to find love on TV (dumb, but whatever).  I was in the minority last night thinking that Scott (if that even is his real name), was kinda right when Hannah Bannanahs confronted him about an alleged girlfriend.  He said it was no different than Hannah Bannanahs claiming to be in love with Colton just a few short months ago.  Well played Scott.  Spoiler:  he was sent packing in a very dramatic fashion.  And that's exactly why I think he was a plant.  The producers know Hannah was not a great choice as the Bachelorette and needed a way for women to get behind her.  And nothing garners the support of other chicks like kicking out a lying cheating bastard.  Girl power and all that. 
7. The dueling pilots.
8. The dancing general contractor. 
9. Demi's back.  She should have been the Bachelorette in my opinion. 
10. Math teacher.  Where was this guy when I was failing Algebra???
11. Luke P.  I mean, God SPOKE to him while he was in the shower.  In.  The.  Shower.  I think we're going to be seeing a LOT more of Luke in the upcoming season.  Like, a LOT more.  He looks like he's never passed up an opportunity to take his shirt off. 
12. Fence jumping guy. 
13. Campus looked nice.  And Bryant-Denny Stadium stole the show.  #RollTide

Blondes having more fun???

Being a Bachelor novice, I had no idea there was a thing referred to as the "Blond-Out."  It usually occurs halfway through each season of The Bachelor, when the fun goes away and things get serious. At the beginning, there are almost 30 women and the Bachelor must pretend interest in all of them while going on goofy dates and trying to stir up drama. By the end, there are only a handful of women left standing and the Bachelor struggles to give each meaningful time as he decides on who he wants to wife-up.   

It's called the "Blond-Out" because at the beginning the Bachelor acts like he’s looking for love with women of all races, creeds and hair color.   By the end, all pretensions have faded away; the Bachelor has looked deep within his soul and has realized that he just wants to pick the girls he’s most attracted to.  Which is OK and I'm not sure why everyone's dogging Colton on this.  He's attracted to Blondes.  So what?  That's usually how relationships start.  With attraction.  You're attracted to someone for some reason.  It may be their height, it might be you find their sense of humor attractive.  You might find something attractive about their physique.  You might find their mind attractive.  It's that first spark.  And if Colton's not attracted to Sydney (who was a bit of a downer) or Nicole because she lacks self-confidence or Oneka (spelling?) because she caused some drama, is it really his fault?  Would it be OK if he was only attracted to red-haired, one-eyed, left-handed girls under 5 ft tall? 

There appears to be some confusion as to whether this season is to be considered a "Total Blond-Out" given the fact that Tayshia has blond highlights and is full-on blond in her Instagram avi.  But, for all intents and purposes, let's just rule her a non-blond (let's just agree to consider women with brunette hair who have gone ombre as blond. For example, Kirpa has natural black hair but has dyed it primarily blond). 

Only one blond woman was eliminated this week, and it was the one all of Twitterverse was divided on.  Demi.  Cute, little Demi from Texas.  Demi with the convict mom.  Aggressive Demi.  Yes folks, Demi is gone.  Felled by either her own hubris or Colton’s inability to see greatness. I'm thinking it was the former.  That girl was bound and determined to take Colton's V-card. 

Demi didn’t get into any hijinks this week or make any snarky comments about the ages of the other contestants (because let's face it.  All the old ladies were gone already.  It was past their bed time).  She let Colton talk to her newly-released-from-prison-mom on the phone (which was weird but sweet.  She clearly loves her mom).  Demi then later told Colton she was “falling in love” with him. While some folks are blasting Colton for his reaction to this, I think it was smart to let her know they were not on the same page.  So he immediately sent her home (which kinda stinks because it's a long flight home from Vietnam and she left in the middle of the night during a thunder storm).   

Many have said that Colton’s getting the formula of this Bachelor thing wrong. He’s supposed to eliminate women as he gets closer to finding the person he wants to propose to. What formula?  Maybe some of these viewers have watched one too many seasons and have become jaded?  Maybe I'm looking at this with fresh eyes? 

In back-to-back weeks, Colton is the one who has gotten dumped rather than doing the dumping.  Last week, Elyse left Colton because she felt she wasn’t getting enough one-on-one time after a strong start.  Sydney left because, among other things, she felt Colton was making “easy choices” instead of picking women who were actually interested in getting married to him.  My only issue with Sydney is that rather than take the high road and wish everyone well, she decided to label the remaining contestants as "shiny objects."  I thought that was a bit much coming from a Knicks dancer.  To me, it came across as Sydney was a bit jealous that she didn't have that spark (or sparkle) to capture Colton's eye.  Which is ironic considering she's a dancer for the NBA.  Doesn't she have to have some spark on the court???

According to Wikipedia’s Bachelor season summaries, 11 women voluntarily left the show over the course of the last 10 seasons. Usually one woman leaves per season but Colton's already lost two. But going even deeper, the timing is worrisome. Like Colton, Ben Higgins lost two women on his season, but they both left by Week 3. Six of the 11 self-inflicted departures came in the first three weeks.

I get it.  A woman auditions for the show for whatever reason, gets cast, gives it a shot, and then realizes they hate cameras, would rather be with their family/friends/dog, and goes home. Or, if they are like me, they would have tapped out the minute they heard they were going to Singapore and Vietnam.  The humidity would have killed me.  No lie.  My hair would have been a hot mess, my make-up would have slid right off my face and the boob sweat would not have been pretty.  If the producers handed me a ticket to Singapore, I would have instanteously replied, "Yeah.  No thanks.  That's not gonna happen.  Good luck Colton!" 

Colton has lost women in Weeks 5 and 6—well over a month into his relationships with them, over halfway through the season. Only one Bachelor has lost a contestant after Week 6, as Colton did—Juan Pablo, who was ditched by Sharleen and Andi within the final four episodes. From what I've heard, Juan Pablo is considered The Worst Bachelor. With capital letters just like that. 

These girls are not only dumping Colton, they are messing with his head.  When Sydney walked off, she told Colton that he might be in trouble because some of the remaining women were “not ready” for marriage. Colton explained to the camera that he thought she meant Demi, so then he went and dumped Demi. But then Demi told Colton the same thing as she was leaving.  And then after eliminating Katie in the rose ceremony (who came out of NO WHERE this week!  I swear to God, I had never seen that girl before last night!!!), she said the same thing. Colton is now officially flabbergasted and sputtering “Am I fucking missing something?” to the camera as he tries to figure out who the unready one is.

I'm guessing Hannah B is one of the ones "not ready" for marriage.  I also think Heather (who has now been kissed) is the next to go home.  She doesn't bring anything to this relationship.  Hannah B started out by forgetting how to use her big girl words by turning a simple toast into a minute-long self-destruction which ended with a #RollTide. Since then, she has learned that she’s quite capable of communicating nonverbally. She has beaten up several opponents (all during sanctioned fights, don’t worry) and now it’s become clear that her favorite form of communication is unhinging her jaw and emitting a whispery shriek, like a wild animal. She refers to it as the Hannah Beast.

In other, exciting news, Colton and my girl Hannah G went on a spa date where they were wrapped up in large leaves which caused Colton to make the awkward joke "I'd eat that sushi."  Hannah's doing great.  She's made herself noticed, in a good way, and is staying out of the drama.  I've said it before but I'm really proud of the way she's handling herself.  She's not desperate or showy and is just letting this thing evolve.  Good for her! 

The mystery of how Kirpa suddenly showed up last week with an unexplained bandage on chin has been explained.  Nothing nefarious, it turns out she fell while trying to take a selfie.  This is the second time this season that an episode has left an obvious mystery unsolved—the first being whether or not Bri ever told Colton about her fake Australian accent.  I thought she was so cute and would have gone a lot farther than she did!  I guess Bri didn't realize there was a "formula" to this show.  But what do I know?