Summer Catch-up

Season 6 of Orange is the New Black was released at the end of July and last night I watched the last episode.  I have to say, this was not my favorite season.  Kind of dark, a lot of characters were missing and some of the new characters introduced were unlikeable (i.e., Madison/Badison).  But I guess that's why they're in prison.  Mackenzie Phillips is great as Barbara, a lifer who runs things in D block while her sister, Carol, is the boss in C Block. 

The series is set in a fictional prison in Litchfield, New York, which is a real town in upstate New York, but it does not have a federal penitentiary.  The series is filmed in the old Rockland Children's Psychiatric Center in Rockland County, New York (which is the county I grew up in). 


I think the Bachelor (?) or Bachelorette (?) finale was last night, too.  I have no idea.  I don't watch those shows and have no clue who any of those people are.  I heard them talking about it on the radio this morning on my drive in. 



As of today we are 8 days away from move-in.  KJ's been doing a great job of gathering last minute items, going through her closet, organizing what clothes she's taking with her, etc.  Coach, of course, is bitchin' that she's packed too much stuff but that's to be expected.  It's a dad thing.  She could fit everything in a Ziploc sandwich baggie and he'd still complain. 

So here we are.  Exactly 30 days until KJ moves into her freshman dorm at Ole Miss.  30 days folks.  This is not a drill.  This is really happening! 

According to Dictionary.com, the definition of an empty nester is the following: 
emp·ty nest·er

noun

North Americaninformal

plural noun: empty nesters

1. a parent whose children have grown up and left home.

However, according to Wikipedia the definition for Empty Nest Syndrome, is this:
Empty nest syndrome is a feeling of grief and loneliness parents may feel when their children leave home for the first time, such as to live on their own or to attend a college or university. It is not a clinical condition.

And according to Physcology Today, it's this: 

Definition. Empty nest syndrome refers to feelings of depression, sadness, and, or grief experienced by parents and caregivers after children come of age and leave their childhood homes. This may occur when children go to college or get married.

 

 

While I'm sure I will experience some sadness at my baby chick having flown the nest, my favorite article on being an empty nester is from WikiHow: 

https://www.wikihow.com/Celebrate-Being-an-Empty-Nester

 

Take pride in your accomplishment. Raising children is an enormous, life-defining and intense job. Now is the time to revel in the fact that you “made” it and produced an independent child (or children), ready to taken on the challenges of the world. You have now entered a group of human beings who have made an enormous contribution to society by responsibly and consistently raising children to become fine young adults.

• Think about what your child has accomplished. One of the best ways to celebrate your empty nest status is to celebrate your child’s accomplishments. Remind yourself about how far you’ve come and how far your child will go. Even though your child has left the house, he or she will need your continued support and love for the rest of your life––the journey doesn’t end here. Take out the awards, certificates, report cards and other memorabilia that attests to your child's milestones and accomplishments. You had a big part to play in all of these––be proud.

I do not understand parents who boo-hoo when their kids leave for college.  It's like a contest as to who can cry the most on Facebook.  Who can get the most frowny faces.  And, it's always from the parents whose child is going to college an hour or two away.  Not that locale diminishes these feelings, but it's very different when you can visit your child for a quick weekend or they can come home on a whim.  When we moved to Maryland, T was a flight away.  And that was scary sometimes. 

Recognize that you taught your children life lessons, which will allow them to thrive on their own. Be happy that although your nest may be a little bare now, celebrate that you’ve taught your child well and have produced an individual who will go forward as an independent, well-rounded individual.

• Remember that the ultimate goal was to raise your children so they could leave without needing you. After years of diapers, homework supervision, dance recitals and football games, parents tend to forget that the ultimate goal was to raise your child in order for them to leave home, holding forth their accomplishments to help them thrive in this world. While this is a bittersweet moment for most parents, instead of thinking of it as sad, take a celebratory attitude and know that you did your job well and that all those endless hours of being mom's taxi or dad's listening post have now paid dividends.

I was so incredibly excited for T-bone when she went off to college and definitely took pride in the fact that Coach and I had done everything in our power to give her the tools to survive on her own.  While I was sad over the "lasts" of high school, I was so excited for all the "firsts" she was about to experience.  And the same is true for KJ.  She's super duper excited and I'm super duper excited for her.  We've had fun planning her dorm room, making checklists and all that good stuff. 

One of my favorite sessions at Ole Miss Orientation was Mr. Whitman Smith.  I had the pleasure of hearing him speak in 2012 and again in 2018 and he is an absolute treasure.  He starts off with "Raise your hand if your child can wake up with out your assistance."  Many parents in the room raised their hand, many more did not.  He goes on to ask, "Raise your hand if you child knows how to do laundry."  Again, many hands went up.  Many parents looked around the room sheepishly.  "Please raise your hand if your child has been to a doctor's appointment without you."  Don't laugh.  You'd be surprised. 
 Acknowledge your feelings. Celebrating your empty nester status doesn't mean putting on a brave front and denying how you're feeling inside. Indeed, it's important that you acknowledge the feelings and deal with them gently, as well as finding the upbeat path to your new future. It's possible that you're experiencing a whole gamut of feelings, including sadness, guilt at the relief you're suddenly feeling, a sense of loss, feeling lost about your next steps, exhilaration, worry, and so forth. All such feelings are normal and unless they cause you to withdraw or sit on the sofa endlessly wondering what to do next, working through them at your own pace will set them to rest. Above all, let go of guilt, especially if it's caused by thinking you should be feeling sad but you're not; you have done your best and you now deserve this time back to yourself.

• Many empty nesters find that the time after children is a renewal period in which their marriages or relationships with others improve dramatically, mainly due to the fact that not having children around allows for relaxed responsibility and increased freedom.
• If you feel yourself dipping into despair, anxiety or deep sadness, talk to your doctor immediately. It is not uncommon to experience depression or a sense of helplessness after children leave home, especially if you chose to stay home or work part-time to be with them. Suddenly the world can seem like a very large, bewildering place after child-raising and its associated activities, so getting help to make this transition makes good sense.

I remember my mom struggling with being an empty nester.  My brother left for Penn State in mid-August, a few weeks later I got married in October.  My mom said she went from having a full house to nothing.  And she didn't really have anyone to talk to.  Of course, I was planning my wedding, being a newlywed and basking in marital bliss so I had no idea she was going through any of this. 

Recall the days “before kids” and what you enjoyed doing so that you can revive these experiences again now. In the early days of parenthood, parents may long for the days of extended romantic dinners and being intimate without worrying about having the kids in the house. After years of getting used to being parents first and lovers last, it's not surprising to have forgotten about the days of being an intimate couple or even single, and all the wonderful things associated with this such as lack of responsibility and freedom to come and go as you please.

• Tap into passions or hobbies you put on hold when the babies arrived. What were your interests before becoming parents? Perhaps you were an avid painter or a vintage car restoration expert; maybe you simply liked hanging out at pubs or cafes and watching life go by. In some cases, the demands of parenthood, coupled with a career and community roles, consumes every waking hour, leaving no additional room for passions or hobbies. With the kids on their own, now is the time to re-embrace your original loves.
• Revel in the fact that you can finally have some “you” time. Ever feel as if your needs were last on the list when the kids were in the house? Remember that an empty nest means that you have more time to focus on what you want and need. 

Oh, we've got plans!  Trust me!  We've got some long weekends planned, a little travel involved, some projects around the house, etc.  And I plan to blow up KJ's room and her closet. 

Focus more on your career. In a two-parent household, often one parent will scale back in his or her career in order to be home or to work part-time so as to be more available for the kids. Now that the kids have fled the household, you might be keen to turn your focus back to furthering your career or developing your talents in a different area by returning to studies or a bridging course. A lot of nonsense has been touted over the years about the aging brain; nowadays, science has shown that our brain is wired for continual learning no matter what our age and that it really is true that with age comes wisdom, as older people draw on the wealth of their life's experience and what they lack in speed, they make up for in sound judgment. Don't let your age hold you back; we live in an era where changing ourselves every decade is now normal.

Since we moved to Texas three years ago, I have definitely concentrated more on my career than I ever have.  I was very fortunate that my paycheck never went toward bills but towards the fun things -- dance team stuff, Spring Break vacations, volleyball (out of state travel to tournaments, meals, hotel), lacrosse (same as volleyball), homecoming and prom dresses, sorority bill, etc.  So I never really stressed about my job.  Once KJ started driving and had her own car, I went back to work on a much more serious note than all my previous years as a mother.  I didn't go back to work just for something to do, but as something for me.  I actually changed properties to be ensure I was doing something I enjoyed and wanted to do 5-days a week. 

Do something fun and maybe even a little crazy. Celebration includes having fun and living it up, so mark this life change with an event that will go down in history. Action beats moping, and there are plenty of exciting opportunities open to you now, such as:

• Travel. Since you're no longer a slave to your child’s school and after-school activity schedule, book a European cruise in the fall or check out a remote island in the Caribbean in January. In fact, traveling during off times can not only be more enjoyable due to less crowds, it can also be financially less painful. If you're retired, consider road tripping in an RV––the sky (or at least, the very long road) is the limit. If you are retired, be sure to get proof of your age and any welfare status, as many countries will now accept this evidence for giving you reduced entry fees and other specials; make the most of these savings!
• Try a new adventure. For example, if you’ve wanted to skydive, ride in a balloon or try zip lining, go for it. Perhaps in the past you held back, worried that if something happened to you, your children would be orphaned. While there are risks associated with everything, you're entitled to “you” time to go for the out-of-the-ordinary adventure.
• Throw a party. Most likely many of your friends are experiencing the same phenomenon and some may be taking their empty nest particularly hard. Instead of wallowing, have a party, invite your friends and dedicate the party to your new-found freedom. For an added bonus, invite all the kids too––they may be just as thrilled to have their freedom as you having yours.

I don't know about having a party or going on a hot air balloon ride (I wanted to do that one year for Coach's birthday and he absolutely refused), but we will continue to embrace adventure.  We'll still do all the fun stuff we're doing now -- finding new restaurants, exploring downtown Dallas and beyond, concerts, movies, sporting events. 
Make lifestyle changes. Now that your life doesn’t demand that you own a four-bedroom home and drive a minivan, make some changes that will save you money and time. After a few months or even a year, pursue your dreams of independence by making distinct changes that reflect your situation now. Maybe these changes include a hot red sports car, a jacuzzi, a small apartment in a swank part of downtown near the cafes, a trek across the Himalayas or a new business to indulge something you've always wanted to do. Whatever it is, plan well and get going with it. At the very least, stop cruising around in an empty minivan! Here are some common empty nester to-dos:

• Downsize. Has living in the "burbs near the good school districts" lost its charm? If that quaint beach house or condo-in-the-city has been calling your name for the past decade, go for it; if you purchased your home because the local school facilities were so great, there will be another family crashing down your door to get into the neighborhood. And when buying your new home, don’t forget to choose a place with a guestroom, so that your adult child can visit (if not, sofa beds work a treat).
• Move interstate or even overseas. Perhaps you've always dreamed of living somewhere much, much warmer than your current location. With the children gone, this possibility opens up. Depending on your financial resources, you might consider a vacation home in the warmer place, or perhaps a permanent home. Whatever you decide, even reticent children will grow to accept the change, especially when they realize they can have sunny vacation visits.
• Trade your vehicle for a very “un-family friendly” ride. Unless your family “truckster” is new, you may want to consider dumping it for a vehicle that’s made for someone single or a couple. Not only will a zippy new car help you assert your independence, it may save you a few bucks on gas versus the van or SUV you’ve been hauling kids around in for years. Another bonus is that you'll no longer be called on to ferry around everyone else's kids who haven't yet left their nests!
• Embark upon a new career. Have you been working at the same safe-but-unfulfilling-job for years simply because you needed the cash to support your children? Or have you been home the entire time to raise children and finally want to go to work? Now that the kids have found their independence, consider “going for” your dream job. However, do your research and have a concrete plan before switching careers––especially one you’d been in for several years. You might find that things have changed dramatically and you'll need upgrading too; don't feel threatened. See this as a fantastic opportunity to improve your knowledge and skills and to be at the front of the queue again.

Yes!  We've never done the mini-van thing but we have talked about down-sizing and our "forever" home.  I don't need to worry about school districts anymore and would love to get rid of one of our vehicles.  But that's not really possible in suburbia.  Someone recently asked Coach where he thought we'd retire and he said, "Well, Valerie would love to be right in the middle of the action in a downtown loft and walk everywhere."  But then I started to grow lavender this summer.  I love the subtle scent and I started thinking about living the dolce vita overseas.  I can picture myself in Mallorca, Barcelona, Marseille, Aix-En-Provence.  I'd love to grow my own vegetables, shop the local markets, have a late breakfast at a sidewalk café, head to the beach, take a little siesta and dine al fresco in my beautifully decorated courtyard.  Now I just need to convince Coach. 

Celebrate your empty nest... while you can. Economic conditions and the demands of life have made young adult independence a murky area. During a tough job market, some young adults end up moving back in with mom and dad due to economic downsizing or the scarcity of jobs.

• Understand that they could move back in. Especially during the early years, young adults may find it economically advantageous to live at home for a few years. If your child is graduating from college, working in a low paying job or simply trying to save money, he or she may ask if his/her childhood room is still available. It's up to you as to whether or not this situation can be accommodated but know ahead of time what your answer is likely to be, so that you can plan accordingly. After all, if you've since downsized, having your adult child live on the sofa for a year might just end up driving you all crazy!
• Your child and his or her family may need to move back in with you. No matter what age, from job loss to divorce or home repossession, your child may find him/herself in dire straits and need a safe haven. After a divorce, job loss or if your child has experienced a catastrophic situation, he or she may seek solace at your home. Of course, this may never happen, so it's not a reason to hold up your life's plans but do be conscious that if something does happen, you may be called on to lend a helping hand.

I'm just going to ignore this section and act like the author never event wrote it. 

Prepare to be grandparents. Not all children will go on to be parents but most do, so it's probably on the cards for your life eventually. Being grandparents can mean the restoration of the busy, noisy household but this time, on terms that you define well in advance. While grandparents are considered to be ideal caregivers, this doesn't mean that you have to assume this role, especially not daily or long-term. Weigh up what sort of a life you want to be leading now and how much of this includes your grandchildren; don't over-extend yourself or you may resent having to do a second parenthood role.

• With the two household income being more of the norm just to make ends meet for many people, some young parents will ask grandma and grandpa if they could provide childcare duties while they are at work. In fact, some young parents simply assume that the grandparents will be fine with this. For some grandparents, the opportunity provides another chance to help raise a child and is taken up with glee. For others, they’d prefer to just be grandma or grandpa in the background, sharing sporadic play dates (and keeping their nest completely empty). Do not feel you have to oblige if it doesn't work for you; your children will work out other arrangements.

I can not wait to be a grandparent but will never pressure either of my children to get married or have kids.  They will do what is best for them when they are ready. 

Mission "Move-In" Accomplished

"Operation T-bone Relocation" was a total and complete success!  Typical T event -- no fuss, no frustrations, no drama, no tears.  Move-in was a breeze! 

T is a Provost Scholar so she got to move in a day earlier than everyone else and it couldn't have worked out any better.  We didn't rush out to Oxford, I think we left B'ham around 10 AM.  Stopped for lunch just outside of campus and from there it was easy-peasy!  No long check-in lines (in fact, there was one other girl getting her keys at the desk when we arrived).  We got two primo parking spots right in front of her dorm, got the carpet for her room, walked up the two flights of stairs (carpet was too big to fit in the elevator), unrolled it and got right to work. 

BEFORE

I made up her bed while T & Cosmo emptied the cars.  I think between the three of us it only took a couple of trips and we only needed a cart for the fridge and microwave (right when the afternoon monsoon hit!).  Bess doesn't officially move in until today so it was just the 3 of us in the room (very easy to get around!).  The girl's room is a LOT bigger than I remembered.  I think the showroom they showed us was a lot narrower than T's real room.  I remember T & I walking in that showroom thinking, "OMG.  This is TINY."

She had a Scholar's reception at 6 PM so Cosmo & I walked around Oxford for a bit.  Sat on a park bench is more like it.  I think at that time we were both a little over-whelmed and slightly dazed.  Paul Giamatti walked right by us.  It was kind of cool.  Cosmo recognized him immediately.  When I heard him speak to his son (grandson??) I knew it was him.  He has a very distinct voice (I always think of that scene from Sideways when he talks about not drinking Merlot). 

Bess, her best friend Tristian, her mom and her sister drove in from Austin and we met them for dinner at our favorite restaurant on the Square.  We had a really great time and I think the girls are going to get along just fine!  Bess was dying to see the room so we all went back to the dorm after dinner and Cosmo helped set up the TV. 

Earlier in the day the girls across the hall poked their heads in to say hello and T's RA also introduced herself.  After dinner the girls next door to T came over and were so excited to see someone moving in.  One is from Hartford, CT and the other one was from Cape Cod.  They had arrived early because they still had to attend Orientation and were kind of the only ones on the floor/wing.  Those girls are a long way from home and their room was a little barren.  The one girl said they just bought the basics at Wal-mart when they arrived and she hoped to go shopping soon.  She said the only thing she brought from home (other than her clothes) was a set of monogrammed towels she got as a graduation gift. 

Cosmo & I said our good-byes, drove a hour to Tupelo and spent the night.  Had breakfast this AM and were home in B'ham by 11 AM.  I was expecting move in to be an absolute nightmare and I still can't get over how easy everything went!  I hope everyone's move-in is as smooth as ours was.  I haven't spoken to T yet today but she did text me that she ran into her lax friend from SP this morning.  Meg is on the hall above her and T's friend Heather is on the floor below her.  When we first arrived at the dorm yesterday, her friend Caroline drove by and laid on her horn and screamed "T-BONE!!" out her car window.  T had a Scholar's seminar this morning at 9 and she still had to get her parking pass and I think she was planning to stop by the broadcast room. 

I kept waiting for a huge wave of sadness to come over me and it really never did.  I teared up once or twice but I think I'm more excited for T than anything.  Yesterday wasn't about me and what I was feeling.  It was about getting her ready for this next, thrilling chapter in her life.  We were almost finished unpacking and decorating and T turned to me and said, "This is everything I thought it would be."  I think that's a pretty successful freshman move-in!

AFTER

Getting There

I can't say that I never thought this day would come because I always knew she had to leave for college at some point.  But boy.  It's hit me like a ton of bricks this week.  My mind is spinning.  I keep feeling like we've forgotten something or overlooked something important (I dunno?  Her tuition or something????). 

Last night we went to Gianmarco's in Homewood for our last nice family meal (or, as a friend referred to it, "The Last Supper").  We always have fun wherever we go and last night was no exception.  A lot of laughs, only one or two tears (and that was all Cosmo). 

Poor KJ just doesn't know what to think.  One minue she's happy about having the house to herself; one minute she's upset at T for leaving.  She also thinsk she's going to be sleeping in the dorms and hanging with the big girls on game weekends. 

Today I'm just doing last minute laundry and helping her pack up her clothes.  She's been pretty organized and there's not much too do.  Monday she & a couple of friends from the lax team went to Sips & Strokes and this afternoon she's meeting a friend for mani & pedi's. 

I spoke w/ Bess's mom yesterday and she hasn't been depressed or emotional until this past weekend.  She said it really hit her that she's going to be an empty nester.  Since we get there first we'll get the carpet for their room installed while the room is fairly empty.  One of the Hoover girls is one floor below her, one of the SP girls is one floor above.  Plus, poor N doesn't know a soul and last time he checked, he still doesn't have a roommate.  He's already told T that they are walking to a couple of their Provost events together because he doesn't want to sit alone (I think their first seminar is Thursday night).  And, she's already been invited to a sorority ice cream social on Sunday.  She'll be fine.  I just need to keep telling myself that. 

It's OK Thursday!

It's OK . . .

...that T leaves a week from today. 

...that she's having a bunch of friends over tonight for a BBQ and it's rainy.  Guess we'll just move indoors. 

...to love this rain.  I mean, I REALLY love this rain! 

...that I just can't seem to get into the book I'm reading.  That has only ever happened to me once before.  Didn't enjoy reading "Wicked" at all (but loved the musical!). 



Wordless Wednesday

Life Is Like a Box of Chocolates . . .

. . . you never know what you're gonna get.  Especially when KJ's been messing around with your camera.  She has her own brand new camera purposely bought for Disney but she somehow still manages to leave a few surprises on my memory stick: 

Obviously she's quite excited about Disney and has been reading up on her Disney facts.  Did you know that 6 of the 7 Dwarfs have a parking lot named after them in the Magic Kingdom?  Doc is the only one who does not.  Disney folks were afraid park visitors would get Parking "Doc" confused with Boat "Dock."  And this is what I've come home to a couple of times this week:  

I like to call this one "Rasta Trix Goes Disney"  -- looks like a bunch of nasty dreds on her head. 

She looks positively thrilled, doesn't she???

And here we have T's dorm stuff taking over the guest room.  She worked all day yesterday so we met for dinner and then a quick Wal-mart run for some health & beauty stuff and other miscellaneous stupidness:  

Quilt from Urban Outfitters:  check

Carpe Diem Shams from Urban:  check

(2) Sets of Sheets:  check

Mattress protector and Mattress topper:  check, check 

(3) Sets of Towels;  Check

Bike and Bike Lock:  Check

Laptop:  TBD (she knows what she needs for Journalism; it's just a matter of finding the time to go to the Apple store and get it)

Laptop Lock:  Check

Extension Cords and Surge Protectors:  check, check

Shower Caddy, Bedside Caddy, First Aid Kit:  check, check and check

Desk Lamp, School Supplies, Fan:  check, check and check

New Underwear and Socks:  check, check

Hamper, Laundry Bag, Laundry Detergent, Dryer Sheets, Stain Stick:  check, check, check, check and check!

Hangers, Iron, Ironing Blanket:  check, check and check

Fridge, Microwave and Hot Pot:  check, check and check

New Backpack:  check

These are a couple of crafts T made for her room:  A smaller version of the chicken wire jewelry holder she made for her bedroom room here at home, mason jars spray painted with chalkboard paint for pens, pencils, make-up brushes (I think she's got some burlap or twine or something to still go on the jars).  I have no idea what she plans to do with that bottle she painted blue.  Maybe just for decoration?  A pop of color??

Each dorm is different and the newer ones they've built this summer @ Ole Miss are gorgeous!  We've been hearing horror stories from friends and seen some photos on instagram of dad's trying to build shelving units or bookcases (how are you going to get that in your car?  Wouldn't you rather assemble when you get there?).  T lucked out because her dorm is older and the entire one wall is full of built-ins (times 2) . . . a hanging closet, a desk, a set of built in drawers and storage all across the top.  She doesn't need to bring bookcases, storage or anything like that.  While the newer dorms already had them, we did have to buy the fridge and micro and her roomie is bring the TV and her mom offered to buy a rug for their room.  I've chatted with both Bess and her mom and we are so looking forward to meeting!  I think the girls are going to be a GREAT match and have an AWESOME year!!  Whoop!  Whoop!

To Quilt or not to Quilt . . .

Feel like I haven't been in my office in forever.  I can't remember the last time I worked a full week.  I took the Thursday & Friday off for T's graduation and then that Monday was Memorial Day, Tuesday afternoon we headed out to Ole Miss for Orientation and I was back in the office that Friday.  Then I got sick w/ pneumonia and missed a full week of work and then this past week I was in training Tuesday through Friday.  It's been crazy!

This is T:  

T is still getting her stuff together for Move-In Day.  We're making progress and checking things off the list.  Some of her friends are heading to Auburn early August (a lot of them are getting apartments and their lease starts August 1).  Not sure when the Alabama kids head to T-town.  We may (or may not) have found a comforter for her dorm.  She originally said she wanted a quilt and was going for a boho/eclectic kind of look.  Then she saw a yellow chevron duvet cover she liked and thought about turquoise accents.  Then she went back to the boho look.  I bought her a quilt from Urban Outfitters this week but will keep the receipt in case we need to return it.  She doesn't like the matchy-matchy look (much to my chagrin!) and loves the "collected" rather than "bought" look.  She likes to upcycle items and enjoys shopping in antique and consignment stores.  Her roomie has basically left the room decor up to T.  She and her parents will be traveling quite far and will only be driving one car to Move-In Day so they are limited on space.  She said they will be doing most of their shopping when they get to Oxford and she may have some things shipped to our house and we'll bring them to her.   

This is Not: 

These past couple of months have been an absolute whirlwind and have gone by in a blur . . . a lot of "firsts" and a lot of "lasts."  T went from being a high school senior to a college freshman in what feels like just a few short days.  She'll be 18 soon and 6 weeks from her birthday she'll be at college.  Normally we go to the beach for her birthday but this summer it will be Disney instead. 

So not only do I have to deal w/ T leaving the nest, but come October, I will officially be the proud mom of not just one but TWO teenage girls.  KJ turns 13 in October.  God help me!  She had a friend over the other day and we were chatting about middle school and all that good stuff.  KJ's friend is on the dance team so we started to talk football and how fun it will be to go to the middle school games.  The friend, very matter of factly, said, "Well, I don't know how fun it will be.  I don't think our team is going to be very good this year.  The boys are all really small."  I don't know any boys on the football team so I don't know how big or small they are but I thought it was pretty funny that these two 12-year old girls were critiquing the squad like a couple of middle-aged men getting ready for their fantasy football draft!