My Opinion Matters

The title of this post should really be "My Opinion Matters and Passive Aggressive People Suck the Life Out of Me" but it was much too long.

There's a funny quote about opinions I'm sure you've heard at one time or another and it goes a little something like this:  "Opinions are like assholes.  Everyone has one."  Yes, I have opinions and I'm not afraid to voice them.  It's OK.  Everyone has an opinion.  It's what makes the world go 'round.  We all have opinions on the following:  global warming -- does it exist?, Obama -- worst President ever?, the best color in the box of crayons, Coke or Pepsi, which Kardashian sister is the prettiest, Alabama or Auburn, Rangers or Islanders.  You get the idea.

Earlier this week I swore off social media, specifically Facebook, for a few days due to the mess in Ferguson and other reasons.  Sometimes I just get inundated with visuals and information and I can only take so much.   Stimulation overload if you will.  I proclaimed I was going off the grid because I was tired of a certain professional race car driver taking up a lot of my timeline as well as the situation in Missouri.  Let me explain . . .

I meant nor implied anything critical when I claimed that I was tired of Tony Stewart clogging up my timeline.  I do not know Tony Stewart.  I do not care to know Tony Stewart and I do not want to know Tony Stewart.  Mr. Stewart and I do not run in the same social circles and I'm OK with that.  I did not proclaim any guilt or innocence in recent track-related events.  I did not assassinate or question his character, morals or integrity.  I did not infer that he should be criminally charged.  I do not have any opinion on if and when it is appropriate for Mr. Stewart to return to racing. These things are better left to the fine folks at NASCAR, ESPN, FoxSports and, of course, Mr. Stewart himself.  I simply stated I am tired of him clogging up my timeline.

Whelp, apparently that ruffled a few feathers.  Apparently a friend took great offense to my comments.  Although I have not logged on to Facebook as per my self-imposed silence, it has come to my attention that several thinly veiled threats/accusations were made towards me.  Passive Aggressively, of course.  Again, because I haven't been on FB I'm hearing this second hand but "allegedly" I was called a "Mean Girl" and "not a true friend" because I made a comment about Tony Stewart clogging up my timeline.  I cannot re-iterate enough --  I HAVE ZERO OPINION ABOUT MR. TONY STEWART.  It is not my place to judge what happened on that race track nor have I EVER attempted to judge what happened on that race track.  I wasn't there.  And neither were you.

However, I AM entitled to say that I am tired of something.  It's MY OPINION.  Stating my opinion does not make me a Mean Girl.  What it does make me is brutally honest.  I have never nor will I ever stifle my agenda to better fit someone else's.  And I'm not raising my girls to conform to someone else's ideals either.  Stating my opinion about something doesn't make me a bad friend.  In fact, claiming that someone is a bad friend because they have opinion different from yours makes me sad.  I'm sad on several accounts:  #1, I'm sad that this person doesn't recognize the value in other people's opinions and #2, if I offended that person, she should have texted or called me and expressed HER OPINION (to which I would have happily listened).  Not taken it to Facebook.

A Little Snow and the Power of the Internet

We woke up Thursday to an absolutely beautiful winter wonderland.  I know most people hate the snow, but honestly, I love it.  I love the snow as much as I love the rain.  Anyone can love a perfect, blue sky, cloudless day.  I think it takes something special to appreciate the subtle nuances of an inclement weather day. I love how weather can stop us in our tracks and make us slow down and enjoy  the day.

We knew in advance that KJ's school was closed, Cosmo closed his office and we all had a wonderfully relaxing day at home in the snow.  We shoveled the driveway, played with the dog in the snow and met several neighbors.  KJ walked over to her friend Connor's house and a bunch of the neighborhood kids walked over to the park to go snowboarding.  The plow hadn't been down our street yet and the snow was up over our knees.  Cosmo had to make a path for her so she could get to Connor's.  On the way, they met the new neighbors on the corner.  KJ said they just moved here from North?  South?  Carolina (she couldn't remember) and they had a little girl.  KJ thought the little girl was about 2 and said she was having so much fun in the snow.  Cosmo uncovered our sidewalk and cleared it over to the neighbor's on our left.  He finally got to meet Mr. W who graduated from Alabama, went on to TN for his Master's and New Mexico for his PhD.  Naturally, the conversation turned to Alabama football and the SEC.  Since the plow still hadn't come through, we didn't bother shoveling the end of the driveway.  Once the plow finally came down our street, it made a huge mountain of snow near the mailbox.  So in the late afternoon Cosmo went out to tackle the glacier.  By this time the snow had gotten quite heavy and wet so another neighbor came over to help him out with a small plow on the end of his lawn mower.  And then it snowed again overnight.  So, Friday morning Cosmo was shoveling out again.  The Pastor from next door came over and gave him a hand.  See!  Snow days can be fun!!!

This weekend is the Capital Hill Classic volleyball tournament at the DC Convention center.  Holy moly.  The largest tournament I had attended was the Regional's in Atlanta.  This is probably 5 times that.  Almost 900 volleyball teams from all over the country (girls from ages 12 to 18).  Our friend from Hoover, Amanda, had mentioned several times that she'd like to see KJ play so when she saw my post on FB about the tournament, she texted me and said she was on her way.  She got to the convention center in time to watch KJ's 7 and 8 PM games.  Amanda played volleyball in youth leagues like KJ and also played in high school.  I think she'd be a good coach!  After the games we all grabbed a bite to eat at the Hard Rock Cafe and had a good time catching up!  KJ played well but they lost a couple of games they shouldn't have.  She's an incredibly consistent server and is enjoying her first season as setter.  Unfortunately, we don't have much of a defense.

KJ's team was in the afternoon wave today and has some very late games so I did not go to the tournament today (we got home last night around 1 AM, of course I was wired and couldn't settled down.  I finally fell asleep around 5 AM but woke up at 9 AM.  So yeah, I'm operating on less than 4 hours of sleep).  I was on FB and noticed a friend of our's from high school posted about watching his daughter play at a tournament in DC!  So, I quick wrote on Zap's wall (his nickname in high school), texted Cosmo and voila!  The two of them met up and got to visit for a while.  I think they saw each other last year at the alumni lax game but still!  I love the power of the Internet!

Well Hello There!!

Wow.  This is the longest I've ever gone without blogging.  It's just been super busy the last couple of weeks and we've been enjoying the recent snow.  KJ had snow days last Monday and Tuesday.  They could have went on Monday but Tuesday was pretty messy and it was probably good that they cancelled classes.  She's enjoying sledding down the hill in our backyard and the dog likes frolicking in the snow, too. 

For the first time in our family's history we cut down our own Christmas tree last week.  We went to
http://www.butlersorchard.com/, the same place we got our Halloween pumpkins.  It was a gorgeous day and we had so much fun.  Finding the perfect tree was a lot harder than I thought! 

KJ started volleyball practice two nights a week and is really enjoying it.  The other night we saw 3 deer walking down our street, 1 deer as I turned out of our sub-division, two more deer on the way to the school for practice and I saw 4 deer in someone's front yard on the way home. 

I've got most of my Christmas shopping done, Christmas cards are out, decorating is done.  I still have wrapping to do and one package to mail out.  We'll bake next week when my mom gets in.  My parents arrive on Saturday and T got in this past Saturday.  Her flight out of Memphis was delayed 3 hours due to the weather here.  We had some snow Saturday afternoon that turned into rain by the time her flight got in around 10 PM.  One of her residents was on her flight so I was glad she had someone to travel with.  Her "little" lives here in Arlington so I'm sure they'll get together over break. 

Cosmo flew to Bham Friday to do a few things at the house and do some lax stuff.  He got to see his lax boys on Saturday and ran into a bunch of friends Friday and Saturday nights.  He misses lax a little bit and is toying with the idea of coaching here.  Which I'm OK with. 

What's App?

 

This www.AlabamaWomenBloggers.com link-up couldn't come at a better time!  As mentioned in a previous post I recently graded to a Samsung Optimus G (still love saying the word "Optimus!").  I've got the basics on my phone:  Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, FourSquare, GetGlue, (I am a total sucker for those stickers!),  Pinterest, Etsy, Tumblr, IMDB (I'm always looking up movie quotes, who was the name of that guy who played so and so in that movie?), Wanelo (still not sure what this one is all about but KJ made me download it), etc.  I'm definitely going to check out some of the apps the other ladies have posted about!  

Zodiac

My husband has threatened to throw away my beautiful new phone and my computer and wants me to stay off social media.  I have a tendency to get very upset at some of the injustices of the world (or what I, in my own little world, perceive to be unjust).  I'm not a black or white kind of girl.  I see things very gray.  And this I blame entirely on being a Libra.  I try to please everyone.  I try to see both sides of the story and I get very (very) vocal about certain topics that I feel passionate about (Paula Deen, Trayvon Martin, the latest cover of Rolling Stone magazine, Hoover City Schools cutting buses from the budget . . . I could go on and on). 

Here are some typical characteristics of Libras and my thoughts on said characteristics: 

Kind, gentle and lovers of beauty, harmony and peace, the Libra-born are attractive people. However, in their bid to please everyone, they can rarely say no to anyone, and as a result, end up stretching themselves.

Positive traits

Tactful
The Libra-born know how to get things done (or, as Tina Fey says, "Bitches get Stuff Done"), however, they cannot be called manipulative. They are too nice to take undue advantage of people’s emotions. 
Romantic
Ruled by Venus, the people born under the Zodiac Sign Libra are romantic to the core. Everything in their lives revolves around the magic word – Love.  (yeah, OK.  I admit it.  I do love loving gestures from my husband or daughters big or small)
Charming
The way they talk and the matters they talk about make people comfortable in their company. And their captivating smile is like a cherry on the cake!  (I don't know about the captivating smile part)
Just
The have a strong sense of justice and fair play. They may tactfully find their way out, but they will never resort to dubious means to get what they want.  (and here's where I start to get in trouble)
Diplomatic
The Libra-born are famous for their diplomatic skills and ability to listen to opposing viewpoints without losing patience. (I don't know about the patience part)
Balanced
Striking balance comes naturally to the Scales as they are graphically represented in the Zodiac calendar. They rarely go to extremes, be it regarding any matter. (like any modern woman, I do try to have it all and juggle a lot -- family, home, career, etc.  Just when I think I'm doing great, something blows up and it all comes crashing down)

Negative traits

Superficial
External beauty means a lot to them. So much so that the Libra-born tend to become superficial, ignoring the potential flaws underneath the beautiful exterior. (I don't think I'm superficial when it comes to physical beauty but buy me a gorgeous pair of shoes or a handbags and I'm yours for life!)
Detached
People born under the Zodiac Sign Libra are empathetic but they can also be detached and pretentious as they don’t wish to displease anyone. (I do have a habit of shutting down and removing myself from the situation rather than confront it head on)
Unreliable
A Libra gets easily influenced by others’ opinions and may change his/ her mind before one may realize it. You may never know if they will keep their word. (I am very guilty of this.  I cancel plans or commitments often because I am just overwhelmed trying to please everyone else and need to just take a step back.  Also see above comment regarding "Detached")
Laid-back
They are energetic but can be surprisingly laid-back as well. And it is not so much physical laziness as it is a desire to avoid tension and emotional challenges. (Um, yes)
Indecisive
Choosing one option out of two or more choices is probably the toughest task for the Libra. Their indecisiveness often becomes a hurdle in their path. (This is SO not me.  Once I make up my mind.  It's done.  We will not discuss it again.  All systems a go.  My mind is made up and that's that.  My husband says it's the stubborn Polish side of me)
Self-indulgent
Since they focus on being surrounded with all things beautiful, the Libra-born tend to self-indulgent and extravagant. (I am totally self-indulgent.  Again, it all goes back to trying to please everyone else.  I often find it quite necessary to take a step back, remove myself from the situation and just take care of me for a while.  Whether it's a pedicure, a bubble bath or reading a book because Damn it!  I'm worth it!  Also see Detached, Unreliable and Laid-Back.)

And here's what the Huff Post has to say about Libras:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/horoscopes/astrology/libra/about/

Famous Libras include:  Ganhdi, Sting, Will Smith, Barbara Walters, Kim Kardashian, Michael Douglas, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Zac Efron, Usher, Snoop Dog, John Lennon, Viggo Mortenson, Gwen Stefani, Eminem, Matt Damon, Ryan Reynolds, Margaret Thatcher, F. Scott Fitzgerald

So, what does your birth sign say about you???

Saturday Silliness and Social Media

Holy Cow KJ has been on a roll the last couple of days.  Really funny stuff coming out of her mouth lately.  She's got a great sense of humor.  Last night I told her she was killing me and she said, "I know.  I've really got to get off the funny train."  She's very dry and sarcastic.  I have no idea where she gets it from!  She's sowing her sassy oats and middle school should be interesting. 

And now it's time to talk about social media.  I loved FB when it first came out.  I loved living in Alabama and being able to keep up with friends and family around the country/around the world.  I loved seeing photos of my friend's kids and I loved hearing about their accomplishments and adventures.  Then it started to get annoying.  I became inundated with Farmville Requests and friends started to use FB as a personal diary and ended up sounding like immature 12 year old little girls (you know the type, the friend that posts about EVERYTHING.  Every little mundane detail of their life:  "Packing for vacation!"  "Driving to airport!"  "Waiting at airport!"  "Boo!  I hate going through security!"  "Sitting on runway!"  "Just landed!"  "At hotel!"  And, thanks to FB I now think "ever" is the most over-used word on the planet -- "Best husband EVER!"  "Prettiest baby EVER"  "Happy birthday to the best son EVER"  Oh!  And the photos of the food you're about to eat.  Those are my favorites!  You get the point.  And I'll admit it.  I'm sure at some point in the game I did the same thing. 

Then came Twitter.  Luv, Luv, Luv Twitter.  I can decided who I want to interact with and, more importantly, who I DON'T want to interact with.  And, I don't get dire messages about some one's Golden Unicorn that is about to die unless I give them 15 bales of silver hay or whatever the hell.  If I don't agree or appreciate some one's tweets, I stop following them.  It's nothing personal.  No big deal.  I love checking in with my favorite news outlets during the day, sports scores, etc.  Love getting a laugh from the Sarcastic Wonka, the Fake ESPN, Denis Leary, Lisa Lampenelli, etc.  RevRun's tweets are a great pick-me up, too.  It's fast, it's succinct and Twitter reminds me of one of my favorite Jackie Kennedy quotes:  "I want minimum information given with maximum politeness."  Just give it to me straight.  Yup.  That's why Twitter is for me. 

And then we were introduced to Pinterest.  The blogger in me personally loved Pinterest.  The traveler in me, the fashionista in me, the book nerd in me, the history geek in me, the closet interior designer in me.  Yes, all of me loved Pinterest.  So visually stimulating!  So inspirational!  All in one glorious place!  It's the coolest encylopedia on the planet!  And then, I noticed something.  It took me a while (yeah, I'm a slow learner) but I noticed people using social media (my beloved Twitter and Pinterest!) to push their product.  I'm not talking about big name brands like Apple, Coca-Cola, Nike.  I'm talking about mom and pop operations.  One of my favorite Pinners (who shall remain nameless) had amazing photos/pins of beautiful home decor items.  I re-pinned several of them because I was inspired.  I thought, "Wow!  I could do this in my own home!" or "Wow!  That would look great on my mantel!"  Then I realized I was no better than a drug dealer.  I was helping her push her product onto other naive, unsuspecting Pinners.  I've noticed folks on Twitter doing the same thing (they shall remain nameless, too).  Sometimes they add a photo or Instagram to their Tweet, sometimes a link to their website.  I think it's amazing when someone can make a living doing something they love.  That's a wonderful gift my friend.  Don't abuse it.  However, when all of your tweets are about your Etsy site, your Scentsy stuff and you "friended" me on FB so I would join your legions of cooking/baking minions, I will delete you in a heart beat. 

We (Cosmo & I) will help anyone in any way, shape or form we can.  We have friends that own their own businesses and we support them.  We support and promote them as often as we can -- whether it's a local restaurant, a dental office, an art gallery downtown, a local politician running for office.  You name it.  We've supported our friends.  And have loved doing it.  We've always felt it was a great honor to be included in that kind of stuff.  Let's face it.  When you're a new business there are people you HAVE to invite and then there are people you WANT to invite.  Drop me an e-mail, give me a phone call, send me a formal invite.  Just make it a little personal, make the effort.  If our schedule permits, we'll be there.  If it's important to you, it's important to us.  Don't be sneaky and push your drugs on your FB, Pinterest or Twitter accounts. 

To Follow or Not to Follow?

That is the question. Well, that a couple other questions I have at the end of the post.

I like to access my accounts every once in a while and do a little house-cleaning. You know, delete some bloggers that haven't posted in year, people I once thought were interesting on Twitter, update my Goodreads account, update the pages I like on Facebook, etc.

Tonight I've been cleaning up my Pinterest boards. When I first starting pinning, I just had very generic, catch-all categories. Now, I've defined my boards a little better and deleted things that are no longer of interest to me or pins I must have really liked because I had them on the same board 5 or 6 times! As I was cleaning up, I realized I never, ever go on anyone else's profile and look at their pins. It was a very weird revelation. I have absolutely no desire to check out other people's boards. If I follow someone's boards and their pins pop up on my home page, yes, I'll re-pin. But I don't ever specifically go to their profiles to see how they've categorized things or what they've named their boards or anything else for that matter. Even though I'm of the mind that once you put something on the Internet it's no longer private, I do feel that Pinterest boards are personal. While I may appreciate the photo you've pinned, I don't want to know or need to know why you've pinned it or under what category.

I also discovered that I don't like to comment or put a lengthy description on my pins. I usually try to keep it brief and put a punctuation mark or something very random in the comment section. What that particular pin means to me and what it means to someone else re-pinning it at a later date and time are usually two very different things.

While I was cleaning up my Pinterest boards, I also realized a few things about myself and a few other things were just reiterated: I love to read. I am not a fan of mid-century or modern furniture. I am a romantic at heart. I have a wicked sense of humor. I love to travel. I love to take naps (preferably outside with a good book nearby). I like the beach (preferably with a good book nearby). I also love autumn. I also love winter. I love bathtubs (preferably outside with a good book nearby). Bracelets, shoes and handbags are my weakness. I have no idea who "Dr. Who" is or what's up with that blue telephone booth. I don't like to cook. At all.

How are you using Pinterest? For the recipes? For the outfit ideas? Home design inspiration? Does anyone else feel that Pinterest is "feminine" and it's weird when a guy has a Pinterest board??

Socially Aware

So unless you live in a cave or your Internet was knocked out due to the recent solar flares, you know who Joseph Kony is. While I am going to try my very best to keep my political opinions to myself, I do feel that the KONY12 video accomplished its goal: to raise awareness to the plight of the children in Africa who are suffering atrocities at the hands of Joseph Kony and his army.

We are subjected to and being influenced by social media at an alarming rate. Celebrities and reality show participants have become our go-to source for information. How many folks watch CNN or read the New York Times on a regular basis? How many followers does Kim Kardashian have?

Let's face it. Most people get their news from social media and it is unfathomable to me how many people believe something to be true just because someone else put it out on the Internet. We've all heard someone say, "I saw it on Twitter" or "my friend had this on their Facebook." Just because Ellen or PDiddy or Kayne retweeted it doesn't mean they have all the facts. It just means they (or their publicist) hit the retweet button. George Clooney, Susan Sarandon, Sean Penn, Bono, the Baldwin brothers, etc. are politically active. Even Scarlett Johanssen is considered "politically actiive" due to her Democratic campaign work. Most became politically active after they became celebrities. Some celebrities really and truly walk the walk; others strategically attend publicized events to help promote their latest book, their latest movie, their latest product. Unfortunately, celebrities are able to reach a larger audience than most of us normal folk and that can be dangerous.

Check everything out before you retweet or re-post and jump on the bandwagon. Do your homework. Don't forward e-mails in the hopes of winning a free iPad (I mean, seriously! Do you actually know anyone who has ever won that free iPad??). Don't donate to a charity if you are unsure about their accounting practices. Or, if you are uncomfortable or not in the position to make a cash donation, see if you can donate goods or services that will go directly to those in need; not get lost in bureaucratic red tape.

dance + dig deep (and delete)

Great weekend of dance and volleyball! We're were all over the place but somehow to manage to be there for both of our girls.

Saturday T had a dance competition at Spain Park HS. This is a HUGE state-wide event and Spain Park's basketball gym doesn't hold a lot so you have to get there pretty early to secure your seat. T & Tins competed in the solo division and both girls placed (T was 8th, Tins was 7th; last week it was opposite. T finished slightly ahead of Tins.). Very proud of both girls! Seven seniors on the Buccanettes and they were the only two to step up to the plate. T loves to set goals and push herself. She welcomes competition and isn't afraid to put herself out there (whether it's dance, lacrosse, a pageant, whatever.). Tins's dance was very elegant and graceful, T's was a bit more contemporary and energetic. The Bnettes totally rocked their hip-hop dance and their jazz routine was the best I had ever seen them perform it.

Meanwhile, Cosmo & KJ were headed to Montgomery for KJ's first volleyball tournament. Her team did great and finished 3rd overall. I left Spain Park and hauled ass to get down to Montgomery and although I missed her 2:30 PM games, I was still able to catch her 4:30 games and her 7:30 games Saturday night. Saturday night she was the clean-up server. We were behind by a bunch, they put her in and she finished off the game and we won! All the parents thanked her after the game because if we had lost, we would have played at 8 AM on Sunday instead of 9 AM. Sunday was single elimination. They played at 9 AM and 10 AM and as soon as they lost that last game we were able to leave. We went out to lunch afterward at Wintzell's with a couple of the other girls and their mom's. It was a very nice weekend because we also got to visit with some of our friends on other teams and we all watched each other's games and cheered the girls on.

We can't escape lacrosse however. In between games Saturday evening, we were in the lobby heading up to our room at the Renaissance when a guy in a tux runs over to Cosmo yelling "Coach! Hey Coach!" It was a Mt Brook parent there for a wedding. His son plays on BamaLax. Then, Saturday night we went to dinner at SaZa's and ran into one of Cosmo's mens lax teammates and his wife.

So last week I had decided I had had just about enough of the negative, obnoxious, judgemental, sanctimonious comments on Facebook and decided to delete my account. It was a hard decision to make because I love keeping in touch with friends and family (especially since we are so far away from our loved ones!). Holy Cow was my family mad at me! Last night Cosmo, T & KJ all told me how disappointed they were that I had deleted my account. When I explained further, they all agreed that I should just de-friend some people (which I think is just awkward and uncomfortable) and I should just totally and completely block others. My 12-year old actually looked at me and said, "Mom. When you deleted your account, you let those idiots win."

Bloggity Blog Blog

I love to blog. I really do. I like Twitter and Facebook, I like Goodreads, Pinterest, Get Glue and Foursquare, too but I always seem to come back to blogger.

I started the blog as a daily journal, a way to communicate w/ my out of town family and friends and just try to make sense of it all. I don't write about anything specific, I don't post recipes, I don't exclusively write about fashion or home decor. I don't blog about diet or exercise. Cosmo & I aren't newlyweds any more so we're not planning our wedding or in that "honeymoon" phase, my "babies" aren't little any more so I'm kind out of the "mommy" loop, too. I just blog about whatever pops into my head. Which can sometimes be scary. I like to check out other people's blogs. I like to see how other folks live (particularly those in other cities/countries), I like to see that I'm not the only one who's husband / kids / whatever get on their nerves. I also love to look at crafty blogs. I am the least crafty person I know and I'm always amazed at the talent of some people. I also like looking at the design and layout of different blogs...some people so put so much time and effort into their blog and it shows! I always feel like mine is a total hodge-podge!