Tuesday, May 24, 2011

So you think you can pick 'em, huh???

I have to get this off my chest. It's been bugging me all day and at first I was angry, now I just feel sorry for this person.

Today, at the pool party, there were a couple of weird situations with one of the mom's (let's call her "Jane"). I really don't know "Jane." We've never formally met, our kids have never been in the same class / activities but I do believe we may go to the same church. I have heard several stories about this "Jane" and have heard that she is very "aggressive." Anyway, this lady Jane made a MAJOR production about blessing the pizza at the pool party since "we're not on school property any more and we can do whatever we want." Seriously lady. If you're that concerned with blessing the pizza at the pool party and have such issues about not being able to pray at school, maybe public schools are not for you. Maybe you need to look into private schools and explore your Catholic options. In the meantime, gather your children in attendance at the pool party and have a nice quiet family blessing prior to partaking in pool party pizza. It was just weird and smacked of insincerity. It came across as very showy.

Shortly after the pizza incident, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine (let's call her "Susie") when "Jane" joined in (perhaps interrupted is a better word). Again, I don't really know this "Jane" but I gathered from the conversation that Susie and Jane have other children around the same age. I've known Susie for about 5 or 6 years now. Very, very sweet lady and I don't think I've ever heard her really talk badly about anyone. So, Jane asked Susie if her older child had any problems in school this year. I guess Susie hesitated just a second too long and Jane pounced on it and began to ask her some very pointed, loaded questions and did her best to drag some gossip out of Susie. Then, after Susie opened up a little bit, Jane turned the tables on Susie and said, "You need to get a handle on your kid's lives and get your kids some better friends." It was so pompous and arrogant and one of those "I'm such a better mother than you" judgemental kind of moments. She then proceeded to explain to both of us how she chooses her children's friends. She said she can "just pick 'em out." According to Jane, just by looking at a child, she can tell which kids are good kids and which kids won't make good decisions. She proceed to demonstrate by pointing at this one, and this one, and, oh! That one over there. I wanted to ask her if, since she's so damn smart, can she also pick out the ponies and the winning lottery numbers?

As this conversation progressed, Jane let us all in on a little secret. According to her, she has a long list of children that her kids will NEVER been friends with. She proudly informed us that her children will only be friends with popular kids. "You know. The athletes, the cheerleaders. The good kids." (her EXACT words, not mine). My initial reaction to this absurd statement was "you ignorant, judgemental moron." But now I've had a chance to replay the scenario in my mind several times. Now, I just feel sorry for her. Because of their mom's ignorance, her children may be missing out on some wonderful friendships. Because their mom only wants her children to be friends with the popular kids, these kids may be missing out on an opportunity to make a difference in some one's life. Maybe they can befriend someone who needs a little guidance or maybe a little love and support in their life. Rather than tell your children who they can and can NOT be friends with, why don't you educate your kids and arm them with the necessary tools to make solid, sound responsible decisions. That's part of growing up. As a parent, it's your job to help your children be prepared so they can stand on their own. If this crazy woman thinks her children will NEVER make a mistake or make a bad decision, she's got another thing coming! I'd hate to be there when one of her perfect, popular children mis-step. The results could be catastrophic.

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